wandering through words

status update

2011-12-07T09:12:00.001-05:00

I have been posting on fanfiction.net for approximately 21 months. So almost two years. I have posted almost 120k words. I have completed one long story (67k), multiple one-shot/short story/vignettes, and am in the process of developing an actual novelization of a game with some proper plot. (That long story up there was pretty much exclusively fluffy character description. I'm not sure it even had much character development to be perfectly honest, but I did like it.)In the process, I have discovered I can make people laugh, and I cannot seem to avoid fluff and romance.I adore dialogue. I can actually finish something I start, despite the previous 20 years of sort-of writing wherein I never finished anything. It's good to have proven that bad habit surmountable./now I just need to work on the rest of them? *laughs*

SSDD

2011-12-07T09:07:00.001-05:00

Holy crap. I'm at much the same place this year as I was last year. Just without pinkeye.Still hate November, and not so good at NaNo.Am pondering an extremely TMI post on the perils of depression, just to get them out of my head. But I don't think I have the nerve. Shall have to wait and see.

exhaustion on day 2 is not a good sign

2010-11-02T11:30:00.000-04:00

NaNo update: 174 words for day one.

Yeah, that's missing a digit, I know. In my defense, day 1 involved the kid coming home sick and a doctor's appointment and me taking the worst possible route to the pharmacy, so pretty much no free time. Plus, still sick. November never goes well for me. *sighs*

Fic Update: Pretty much still stalled in the same place, chapter 11 of the collab and chapter 25 of the solo. Am refusing to write any of the other pieces fluttering around in my head, (mostly gaming characters) as I'm pretty sure they'd suck what little word-count juice I might have for NaNo. *glares at muse* Cooperate? I'll feed you cookies?

House Update: The less said the better.

In other news, I am ridiculously glad I called in sick for work. I called yesterday because the husband has to work late and the kid has pink-eye, but now I just feel wretched, and the realization that I don't actually have to deal with work later? Lovely. Precious. Delightful. And other good things.

And that's all I got. Am going to attempt to medicate, and make some lunch.

Happy November

2010-11-01T10:42:00.000-04:00

Hope everyone had some good candy times yesterday. Or awesome costumes. (Or a really creepy neighbor? That one doesn't sound so good.)

I am, despite being sick and exhausted and stressed, attempting NaNo again this year. I will also attempt to prepare at least a short blog post every day, and get my house in order. There are things I've been meaning to do, and habits I've been meaning to change for years, and nothing has happened, so I'm just gonna chuck it all at November and see what sticks. I apologize in advance for the probable level of cranky incoming. I'm sure I won't manage all of it, cause that would be pretty close to physically impossible, but as long as I get something every day, whichever one of the somethings I manage, I'll be in better shape come December than I am now.

I don't actually have a topic for today, though, and haven't gotten far enough in NaNo to post an update, so I guess the real test will be if I show up again tomorrow. *knocks on wood and all that*

Watching The Colbert Report

2010-04-28T00:00:00.000-04:00

"He was not only heroic, but he had venom in his wooden teeth"
OMG, Colbert is a lunatic. Making up ridiculous things about George Washington just to keep the interview in keeping with his crazy set. And then he goes and tells his guest that the Dangerous Book of Heroes should have blank pages where you can add your own hero, and he pretends to write in "My Dad". *awws*

Not that I ever liked the news in the first place, but Comedy Central has killed what little ability I ever had to deal with the "reporter voice" that news anchors use. Cause for all their craziness, Steward and Colbert actual use normal sentences, and their fake voices are funny rather than pretend-condescending-serious.

posting when sleep deprived does not promise coherence

2010-04-27T00:12:00.000-04:00

So, my favorites list on ff.net is totally out of control. I keep adding things, and I can't remember which is what, and I know I've come across some that I enjoyed, and/or that I'd like to reference again later, but aren't necessarily of a high enough quality I feel like I should be recommending them in the same list as the extra spectacular stuff by Sinvraal and Jaer Wolfe, though most of them really are very good, but they all keep writing more, and I already have this crazy favorites lists... Argh!

Seriously, they need a couple different lists, or a way to star the actual favoritest of favorites, or sort, or something. The three wondrous Firefly Zoe/Wash fics that make me cry are hiding at the bottom of my list for no one to see, atm. I am weirdly tempted to purge the list on ff.net, and just put back the bestest bestest recommended ones, and keep a separate spreadsheet for when I want to find things. *laughs* But then, that defeats half the purpose of the favorites, which is to entice the people who wrote them to come read my stuff too. *laughs*

Then again, I'm the one who shelves her personal books in alphabetical order by author, and has been known to straighten and reorder shelves in stores, so I'm obviously slightly anal about a few things.

Not cleaning though. Never actual cleaning. Just keeping the fun stuff in order.

The last one is particularly funny, cause the 5-year-old is learning it as well. His bedroom is currently a disaster of toys, but he puts the movies and videogames neatly back on the shelf in the living room *in order* and he can't actually read enough to alphabetize them yet. He pretty much always gets them back in the right spot, too, which he has to be doing from memory, which impresses the hell out of me.

Smart kid, huh? (Who, me, biased? ^_~)

The youngest is still adorable, and having issues w/the breastfeeding, so there's not really anything to report there.

And why the frak are the DH and I not asleep? I must run away and attempt to snooze soon.

quick review of goals: writing, reviewing, gaming...

2010-04-26T11:20:00.001-04:00

So... in repeat news, I love writing, even when I hate it. I think this implies it is good for me, and should try and do it more. But seriously, when the hate rises... dang, but words suck. Plain blank screens are the tool of the devil. Crowley would be proud of the levels of unpleasantness I am capable of spreading around when the words aren't working, or my beta readers don't get the thinks or the feelings I'm trying to get across. (And no, that think was not a typo. I meant thinks. Not things, not thoughts, thinks. It emphasizes the AWKWARD of my current annoying project.)

Or projects, really. I'm mostly just working on one particular fanfic, *insert fanfic NOT MY STUFF, I JUST LIKE IT disclaimer here*, but I do still have a couple character backgrounds floating around the back of my head. I really should work on them. *sighs* I need faster fingers, or a brain more skilled at the multi-tasking, or something. Too many words, too few hours in the day. And not enough self-discipline in the brain. Silly brain.

Can't even focus on a decent story by someone else, so I have a giant pile of library books I mostly haven't read, that are due back soon, even after being renewed. That hasn't happened to me in years.

I started writing a movie review, as we went to the drive-in a couple weeks back for a triple feature, but I didn't get very far. I found myself boring, which inclined me to the suspicion that anyone reading it would also find it boring, so I deleted it all. In short, however, The Spy Next Door is entertaining if you have kids who like the kung-fu, Clash of the Titans seemed ok, but I fell asleep, as the wide-screen-lens they used hurt my eyes so I couldn't focus, (the husband enjoyed it though), and It's Complicated was actually ridiculously entertaining, though I spent a huge chunk of the movie wanting to smack Alec Baldwin's character. The periodic stupidity was all reasonable, character-based idiocy, however, and thus helped rather than hindered the movie. And seriously, Steve Martin and Meryl Streep at her character's daughter's party? LMAO funny. Don't want to spoil it, though I think some of it was in the previews.

I really enjoy the triple feature at the drive-in, cause the third movie is frequently some comedy/drama thing we probably wouldn't have ever gotten around to renting on our own that turns out to be pretty good. Leatherheads was one of those a year or so back, whenever it was it came out.

And in gaming... nothing to report. Had a Sidori Gambit session last Monday which was quite good, and my poor scoundrel is horribly disturbed by Impie political machinations, but I can't think of anything in particular to say about it besides the fact that I hope this week goes really well too. ^_~ And I haven't played much of the VG's for some reason... just haven't been able to focus on any one thing for more than about five minutes lately, which makes books and video games less than thrilling. bleargh. I am uneventful.

stream of consciousness... sorry

2010-04-05T01:07:00.001-04:00

So I go to all the trouble of babbling something for a post to make sure I'm starting this whole 'daily' concept... and then skip the next four days. *rolls eyes at self* I am so talented.

I have actually been all awesome in my Star Wars PnP game. My character is adorable, and fun to play. She's some weird mental fusion of Firefly's Wash and Han Solo, but all girly. That makes no sense, I'm sure, but she's still fun for me! And I got extra RP-time with a couple of the group members, which was extra fun. Though, thanks to Kay (the character), I have no developed the catch phrase "not so much". I keep trying to use it in every other sentence. It weirdly fits quite well most of the time. I have an odd vocabulary, I think. But hey, words fun. Usually.

I haven't actually read anything to review, or seen any movies, or anything lately. Just meandering about teh intarwebz, and taking extra naps. (And eating a lot. The husband had to make a completely off-hand comment about at least we knew my problem wasn't that we had kid #3 on the way, and of course I had a moment's panic that theoretically it was sorta in the realm of possibility... but it's pretty damn close to impossible, so I smacked my overactive imagination around a bit, and am feeling better now.)

Oh, and I've been admiring Jhosephine's mad photoshop skillz. gah. That woman totally derails my brain on a regular basis.

Happy Easter!

The eldest is now five, and owns a proper bike. He picked a Spiderman bike, and a Ben 10 helmet. I am weirdly fond of Ben 10, tbh. Yay, Cartoon Network.

(His bike looks nothing like the ones they find on American Pickers, I feel like adding, as a commercial for them just showed up in front of me on the TV.)

I hate breast pumps. They are uncomfortable, and awkward, and, *words fail me*. Partly cause I'm not too fond of my breasts in general at this point in time, as they do not make enough milk for the baby, and this makes life unnecessarily complicated. Why can't they just work? Is that really too much to ask? Make milk, feed baby, repeat. Yet no, this doesn't actually happen. Or it does, but the baby is still hungry. And thus we must buy bottles, and formula, and things to store what breast-milk I manage to express... stupid waste of money.

I want to go to Dragon*Con!

Thus wasting money is even more annoying than usual.

So, I applied for a job to help with that. At Six Flags, of all things. Standing around all day, almost in the sun, selling tickets. And it actually sounds like fun. I think I've been out of work too long. o_0;;

New episodes of Futurama soon! Neat-o!

Why can't I hear the washer running? *wanders off to do laundry*

2010-03-31T23:59:00.001-04:00

I have five minutes to get a post done to qualify for today. Tomorrow is April Fool's Day, the kid's fifth birthday, and... I am so unprepared.

In other news, we're considering getting a second car, to help fight my stay-at-home-hermit-mom syndrome. But we're broke. Wish us luck reconciling those, pretty please.

I was in a really good mood this morning, and then I proceeded to get nothing done I was hoping to do, and am now tired and disappointed in myself. *sighs* Ah well, tomorrow is another day and all that jazz.

My baby won't eat. This is frustrating. I don't make enough milk for him to gain weight appropriately that way, but he will not take a bottle from me anymore. I don't understand! I mean, I was hoping to not have to feed the kid formula for oh-so-many reasons, but I also don't want him to be hungry and underweight! *grr*argh*

I had a very fun gaming session Monday night, and a ridiculously silly character interlude Tue morning. I felt weirdly like I was channeling some strange combination of Firefly's Wash and ME's Joker; if they were female, that is. Can you tell my character's a pilot? *laughs*

Not much else I can think of, especially since I'm running out of time for this to qualify for March. Will try again in the morning!

preferences

2010-03-30T07:19:00.005-04:00

I like making recommendations. I enjoy being able to figure out what sort of books and/or movies and/or games people like, so I can point them in the right direction for more of them. (I should so go back to school to be a librarian. dang. I never put it like that before.) While I do not have the most discriminating tastes, I can usually tell if something will be enjoyable for someone else.

So even though I've repeatedly set aside five hours to watch Colin Firth get his shirt wet, am half in love with Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan, am strangely worried about the possibility of Evil Giraffes, and can reload a game multiple times to make sure I've gotten the most adorable romance dialogue ever, doesn't mean I think these things will entertain anyone else.

While I, for example, have read eleven Honor Harrington books, and love Nimitz and his person to pieces, I told my mother not to read them, as she would have to throw the book across the room and into the wall to express her probable disgust with some of the plotting and character development.

There are, however, a few things on which I have absolutely no perspective whatsoever.

My children are adorable. (You'll just have to take my word on this one, as I'd feel weird sending their pictures all over the internet. Pretend you're my friend and you can see them on Facebook someday if I ever get around to uploading them.)

Raphael Sbarge has, quite possibly, the sexiest voice on the planet. Go play KoTOR or Mass Effect if you don't believe me. Or even watch the episode of Avatar that he's in. Though your kid might think you're weird if you giggle delightedly at the scholar's voice. What, I don't speak from experience or anything... o_0;;

And Patricia Briggs has a new book coming out today, Silver Borne, which everyone should buy and read. Now. And then buy and read the entire Mercy Thompson series all over again, cause it is just that awesome.

Just to illustrate the point yet again:

I am a rabid BioWare fangirl. I write fanfiction about their games. They are beautiful, and engaging, and the only video games I would even consider pre-ordering. (I even got the Collector's Edition of Dragon Age cause it is just that pretty.) However, I would never recommend any of their games to my husband, as his response to all the dialogue would be something similar to: "if I wanted to do that much reading, I'd open a book".

I will recommend Patricia Briggs to anyone I meet who can say their alphabet. I'm sure there is some reason why someone, somewhere, wouldn't love her books, but I can't tell you what it is. I can't grasp it in the slightest. They have action! Adventure! Consistent world-building without being obnoxious about it! The characters are vibrant and engaging, the plots are entertaining, and the writing is clean and appropriately emotional. She is freakin' perfect.

Ok, so she's not really perfect, no one's perfect, and I'd probably make her really uncomfortable with my gushing if she saw this, but I can't help it! Her books make me happy. I have read every single book that's in print, and I like them all. The few I don't own are because I am waiting for the hardcover reissues. (I don't normally even buy hardcover! I make due with libraries, and I wait for cheaper editions. Well, except for the Harry Potter books. I bought those hardcover. And Gaiman.)

I am a better reviewer for Neil Gaiman, tbh, for all he is the rock-star of the geek-literary world, cause despite being a fan, I can see why some people may not be engaged by his writing. Can't do that for Briggs. Tell me you don't like her stuff, and I'll ask why you haven't read any yet. So go on, go read her stuff. And if you don't like them, I promise I'll listen. I'm sure you won't make much sense though. ^_~

Gimme stuff?

2010-03-29T15:34:00.000-04:00

So, BioWare is claiming that appealing to my consumer greed is an 'epic community event'. (Gain tokens by being active @social site/registering games/promoting BioWare. Use tokens @auction for cool stuff next week.) And they wouldn't be far wrong, except that their fan base is highly international, and their event is only good in the US. Not even the entire US, apparently, but I don't remember which states were exempt. There have been many lolcat epic!fail pictures over on the BioWare Social Site in retaliation. You'd think they'd be smarter than that. I mean, if you can't get international prizes, work around international tax/retail laws, don't market it as a big community-wide event. See, problem solved. *rolls eyes*

Dumb-asses. Just sayin'.

must do this every day... is good for the brain... eventually... o_0;;

2010-03-20T13:27:00.000-04:00

No writing updates today. I can think of no words to fill up the white pages on my screen. *sighs sadly* (Well, no story words. I am chatting aimlessly over at The Lounge on the BioWare site, but I'm not actually getting any story work done. I keep bringing up the word docs, and staring at them, and nothing happens. *grr*argh*

In other news... happy anniversary to me! I am doing nothing. My lack of romantic inclination is driving my husband nuts, and I know I should, but the only things I can think of are logistically and/or financially unfeasible. So thus... nothing. I need to go to the library and a pharmacy/organic market to look for fancy tea or tinctures to help encourage milk production for the baby (TMI? sorry...) and that's about it. I am so boring.

dull dull dull blah blah blah <-- See, that's what my creative writing has looked like today too. I should probably just quit and do some housework today, since the home is sorely in need of it, but... I hate cleaning. *laughs*sighs*I give up. Going to go read, or play the Dragon Age expansion. toodles!

My son = Ben Bailey

2010-03-20T01:23:00.000-04:00

Anyone ever seen Cash Cab? Weirdly enough, it is one of my four-year-old's favorite shows, though seriously, I think the content of all the questions goes mostly over his head. I always assumed he just liked the flashing lights set up in the roof of the cab. :D

Only I discovered today it's more than that. He likes the whole game. Cause he decided to quiz me today in the car. He made up his own $50 questions (about Kung Fu Panda, for those curious) and I got two strikes before I figured out what he was asking about. *laughs* I finally answered the third one correctly though, and was then told I had made it to the bonus question, and could take my money or risk it all on a double or nothing question! It was hysterical. (I got it right. Go me, winning an imaginary $100 today!)

This was after the doctor oohed and aahed over the baby's dimples, so all in all, I had a fun mommy day. *giggles*

Warning: Rabid Fan Girl

2010-03-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

So, I actually managed to write something funny! Of course, you'd only get the funny if you've played both Mass Effect games, but the fact that I successfully made other people laugh has totally made my day. Possibly my week. I *love* Seth Green, as I only managed this by hearing his voice acting in my head. Go Joker!

In other news, I am also proud of my self-restraint today... the husband is home recuperating, and I have voluntarily relinquished the TV so he can choose what to play/watch rather than obsessively playing Dragon Age: Awakenings all day. :D Partly cause I somehow confused the character file I wanted to import into thinking Alistair was king, which he so wasn't for that version, so I need to replay the end of Origins first, and thus will need a bit more time. *laughs*

Fantasy for the win

2010-03-15T04:01:00.001-04:00

So, I'm writing fan-fiction now. It's crazy fun. Horribly embarrassing, something I swore I'd never do, but... there you have it. Crazy fun.

ETA: Not that there's anything wrong with writing fan-fiction. I've always liked fan-fiction, when I could find the good stuff beyond the massive piles of not so much... I just used to swear I'd never write it. Then again, I also used to swear I'd never have kids, so we can tell how accurate my self prediction have been... *laughs*

I also have two, count them TWO new Obsidian Portal games-to-be with character backgrounds to write, and Script Frenzy starts next month. Wish me luck on the crazy word counts for the next few months...

Despite the strange eager anticipation all this possible writing inspires, in reality I have been horribly neglecting this blog, and I haven't even been clicking by GoodReads to rate the things I've finished reading.

Not that I've been reading much besides fan-fics lately, as the ME2 story was, well, crappy. Not really, it's a great game. It just didn't have any of the particular things I wanted out of it, (character development from the first game!), so I was a sad panda for a bit before I let go of my preconceptions and had fun. But now I am in agony waiting for ME3 to see if they redeem themselves. TWO YEARS! /*grr*argh/ I'm hoping they'll have some damn fine story-driven-rather-than-more-stuff DLC to tide me over. Or else I'll just have to write some. *laughs*

So, despite the awesome-sauce that is the kick-ass science fiction universe of Mass Effect, Dragon Age still holds sway in my heart as the bestest video game ever. Just for those of you keeping track. If BioWare actually follows through on this whole trilogy concept with a stunning character-driven finale, Mass Effect 3 may take its place, however. Here's hoping. :)

oops

2010-02-25T18:11:00.000-05:00

So, I obviously misjudged my adaptive skills last month. I still have not figured out a 'managing newborn and 4-year-old' schedule that remotely works. Not helped by nursing issues (TMI?) which mean I'm attached to said newborn for HOURS out of the day. Plus, I am completely incapable of just putting him down to cry unless I'm doing something unavoidable at that moment, a la bathroom breaks or eating. Everything else I keep putting off, thinking I'll manage to get him to sleep eventually... *rolls eyes* Hasn't worked so much the past few weeks. However, we are both healthy, and usually happy, so I'm sure I'll figure things out eventually. I might have to take my challenges off the sidebar though, since that doesn't seem to be happening... *sighs*

And to add to my frustration, I had a bunch of holds come in at the library, which I failed to pick up, so now I don't even get to look forward to reading them. (Since reading and video games are just about the only things I can do while nursing.) And I'm not sure I can remember them all, to attempt to re-request them, which I suppose means I didn't want to read them that much? *sighs again*

Tomorrow is another day, right? *sighs and rolls eyes this time*

Happy New Year!

2010-02-05T16:58:00.004-05:00

So, I had a baby on January 14th. Yeah! However, it takes a few weeks to adjust, so I did nothing here. (Or at home. Many thanks to the husband and the 4-year-old's godmother, or the house might have imploded under dirty dishes, and everyone but me would've starved.)

I have picked books for my first month of challenges (TBR and Re-Read, see sidebar), which is just going to be February for me this year. January rather didn't happen, in any practical sense of the word. ^_~

So, here's to 2010, and new babies, and big brothers, and new games, and more writing. *knocks on wood*

btw, is it weird that we compare our babies to The Dark Crystal? The first kid was 9 lbs 1 oz, with a big head, so it got a little squeezed on his way out, and it gave him a pointy head. And ears. And he had a pointy chin. So I called him a gelfling. ^_~ And the newest one was very round and red and wrinkly, so the husband dubbed him a podling. I'm not sure we're complimenting our children by comparing them to muppet-y creations... o_0;;

WIP update

2010-01-12T09:00:00.002-05:00

So, I finally decided to combine some previous ideas for my Naessa short story into one. Which is interesting, if currently a bit unwieldy. I haven't quite gotten the two half-ideas to balance in any meaningful way throughout the story. Then again, I keep self-editing, so it's not like I've actually gotten far in the physical writing. *shrugs*

And then our gaming session Sunday ended on a major cliffhanger, so I keep distracting myself by speculating about what will happen next, rather than figure out what I think happened previously to my character. Not that that isn't FUN, but it is lacking in productive.

Current threads of the WIP:

Current Characters:
Naessa
Jatris
~~Oriane~~
(I like what we did in-game better than what I was writing, so she might not be in the short story much)

Flashback Characters:
Ferron
Ninnion
Ashoa
Darana

Themes:
Romance
Family
Responsibility

Plot:
And here's the problem... I have no idea what actually happens to inspire all these character conversations and scenes I have floating around in my brain! And everyone sitting around thinking about them is just BORING. I've heard the advice that just have the most horrible thing you can think of happen to your character, which now that I'm writing out seems to be helping. I'll have to remind myself of that when I start up again. *evil grin* Literary angst, here we come!

be careful what you wish for...

2010-01-11T17:47:00.000-05:00

So, I had to say, both out-loud and in writing here on the blog, that I hoped my baby-to-be would be late rather than early. I'm an idiot. Cause getting induced sounds unpleasant. But having him stay put and grow another pound or so and make me wander around awkwardly pregnant for even LONGER would also be quite unpleasant. *sighs*

Every day, someone asks if there's a baby yet. Or asks how I'm doing, and seems vaguely disappointed when I say I'm fine. (No contractions, no water breaking, no nothing.) At least today he isn't pushing against my hips, so it's much easier to walk around and do stuff than it was yesterday. Yet notice how I'm celebrating this improved mobility: sitting on the computer. Go me. *snickers*

I really don't want to be induced. And I'm scheduled to go into the hospital Wed night. I wonder if I could just decline for another week, and wait to see if he comes on his own? Probably not a good idea. It's strangely tempting though. I suppose I should ask the midwife tomorrow at my appointment, assuming he hasn't shown up yet. *crosses fingers in the probably vain hope of imminent labor pains*

*waits*

Nope, nothing yet.

*waits some more*

Still no kid trying to make his way into the world.

*sighs*

Bored. Of course, I will regret all this hanging around bored as soon as the kid is here, and I am sleep-deprived, and have a baby attached ALL THE TIME. *laughs* Still doesn't make the last month of pregnancy any more fun. Ah well, it'll all be over soon, right? And then I'll have a baby! Yeah! For some reason I'm just not that excited. I wasn't last time, either, until the baby actually got here. That makes it all better. Hopefully he'll co-operate, and I'll be much to busy to finish the couple posts I'm working on anytime in the next week. :D

No Baby News

2010-01-05T12:42:00.000-05:00

So, my due date is Friday. As in, 3 days from now. I have not had the baby. I haven't even finished digging out all the baby clothes and toys from where they're buried in the nursery closet. (And I can't quite maneuver the boxes on my own anymore, and I keep forgetting to hijack the husband when he's home to move stuff around for me.) I haven't vacuumed the living room so the new kid can wiggle on the floor without getting dog fur all over him either. I have, however, packed my hospital bag, set up the bassinet, and gotten a breast pump. Is that good enough? I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Writer's Block is not fun. I like to state the obvious sometimes.

2009-12-30T12:05:00.000-05:00

WIP update:

I actually have two short stories on the back burner. First up is a very short interlude for Naessa from Silent Winter, and the second is a much longer introductory piece for Kaylani Seren from The Sidori Gambit, the game that probably won't be starting until February sometime.

This means I ought to be working on the Naessa story, but I haven't had much luck with either. I actually have some idea where I'm going with both of them, which ought to be a refreshing change, but... I try and write and nothing happens. I take a break and come back, and nothing still happens. I ignore them for days in frustration, come back yet again, and still nothing happens. I have not been writing consistently enough in YEARS to have developed strong BIC instincts, so I have no idea how to charge my way through this particular bout of writer's block.

I recall, in school one year, having to write all year. Every student had a memo/journal, and we had to write every single day during our free-write time. I loved it. I never had trouble writing more, and I developed some strange, meandering epic over the course of the year. I just kept adding more and more... :D I'm sure it wasn't very good, and I've long since lost the journals so I can't check, but it was FUN, and I did it, and I always powered through any snafus along the way. I want that back. I just don't know how to get there from here. ;)

Especially as there are, almost literally, fifty-million things I need to do in the next week to get ready both for the baby-to-be's probably highly imminent arrival, and to get the house ready for visitors. None of which I'm doing right now. Bad jillyfae, no cookie. Oops, already ate the last cookie today. No more cookies? :(

Anyways, back to writing. Only, I'm not writing, and I don't really want to stare at the same blank pages yet again. I think I will just have to set up some free-write time tomorrow, and see if I can prime the pump, so to speak, in doing something completely different for awhile. *crosses fingers hopefully*or should that be knocks on wood?*

P.S. I got my first spam comment on my last post. I actually showed up in a search engine to spam... is that good or bad news?

Seasons Greetings, etc.

2009-12-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

Since I am planning on avoiding the computer to do fun things like open presents and play in the snow the next few days, I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone Happy Holidays. (Or Happy whatever you do this time of year, even if it's lock yourself in your house and avoid holiday crowds... ^_~)

A quick WIP update... my story, once again, went nowhere. I don't think the background of the current character lends herself to more proper stories. I could set up a couple character vignette kind of things, but while they're good to write for role-play depth, they're not interesting to write or read in any post-able fashion. (At least, not from my perspective.) So I'm not going to. *shrugs*

Talking to our awesome GM the last time we managed a session (holiday season = impossible to arrange schedules around 7 people) leads us to believe we probably only have approximately 5 more gaming sessions to finish the story she's got for us. No more Silent Winter soon. :(

However, we're having so much fun that one of our current players has decided to GM a Star Wars Saga RPG to start in February, and he invited pretty much the whole group over to play. ;) So I might have an update next week on a new character background. I even have some ideas already, so I'm going to try and do a really nice long introduction story I can break up into a couple prologues on OP.

But not today, since I'm playing with the little one, and setting up his new Tag book, so he can play/read Cat in the Hat and The Amazing Spiderman all by himself. Merry Christmas All!

random lust

2009-12-22T09:30:00.004-05:00

Someday, I am going to THIS. And it will be awesome. I suppose I should actually work on one of the stories I want to write where it would be useful, however, so I know what questions I need to ask... maybe I should attempt to make my own private NaNo in February or March or something, just to get myself going?

I need to play a Sentinel. Only a little over a month! So much less painful anticipation than DA:O's extended wait. *crosses fingers and hopes ME2 doesn't get delayed too.*

Somehow I only own one book from my favorite author's bestselling Urban Fantasy series. So, now I need my own copies of the first three, plus the new one due out next year. Which she's still writing. Have we established my lack of patience yet?

Then again, there are things I've wanted for years and never gotten around to getting... such as the classic (1980's) BBC versions of Austen. I particularly like Pride & Prejudice and Persuasion (Ciaran Hinds as Wentworth! *sighs happily*)... shocking huh? While I am slightly less enthralled with the rest, (Mansfield Park in particular), my desire to support Austen, the BBC, and PBS, overwhelms any slight misgivings attempting to wander past my consumer-lust to HAVE THEM ALL! I think the only real reason I've refrained is that I have an old yet-perfectly-functional copy of P&P, and just buying Persuasion would be cheaper. But so much less pretty than the nice box with a clean version of Darcy and Elizabeth...

Speaking of Darcy, Laurence Olivier makes a fine romantic hero, and I don't actually own this one either... *sighs* Such an Austen addict.

Just to solidify by Austen geekiness, I not only own all six of her novels, I have the collected juvenelia. But none of the versions of Sandition (her unfinished final novel) completed by someone else. Cause, really, not-Austen version of her work (includiing the myriad Pride and Prejudice sequels) have never appealed in the slightest.

Strangely enough, neither did the most recent round of Austen remakes from PBS last year. Though the only one I saw was Persuasion, I was highly unimpressed. It suffered from similar modern liberties as the Knightley/Macfayden P&P, without the same level of chemistry to make up for it. I'm thinking I'll skip the 2008 versions entirely, despite how adorable Kate Beckinsale looks on the Emma DVD cover.

And back to gaming! Seriously, I'm slightly obsessed. Pen and Paper this time, but still Dragon Age!

I also lust after a clean, organized house, but I don't think I'm going to do the work on that, and it's hard for any of my scattered friends and family to help with that one long distance. *sighs* Gaming, and reading, and playing in the snow with the kid... all more fun than housework. ;)

Speaking of reading, (and that's an awkward transition if ever there was one), I was going to put up a review for On Basilisk Station, since the_flax finally talked me into reading it. However, I can't think of anything really review-y to say about it. It's the first Honor Harrington book by David Weber, originally published in 1992 and I found it difficult to get into, but once I did, it was highly enjoyable. I liked the characters and they had some decent depth and development. The action was clearly written, the imaginary science seemed solid and plausible, and tree-cats are awesome. And Nimitz the tree-cat gets even better in the next one...

(And the first two are both in the Baen Free Library, so you have no excuse not to read them. ;) Love me Baen's free library. Should buy more of their books to prove how well it works... *laughs*)

Weber apparently routinely writes in "heroic" mode, so the good guys are especially virtuous, and the bad guys are especially villainous, but that's not really a complaint. It might get to be one by book eleven, but as it's a valid storytelling choice, I'll try not to let my personal inclination towards more "grey" character development get in the way of enjoying a hopefully well-paced and well-written series.

Also, if anyone can find a decent (not-cheap-plastic or excessively pink) toy kitchen, drop me a line? I would like to get one for the little dude, but I can't find anything that isn't horribly over-priced. Or that really exists, since I've found a few listings, only to discover that no one actually carries the one I wanted anymore. Very frustrating. Thanks all!

Broken Wing by Judith James

2009-12-11T17:17:00.000-05:00

genre: book review

So, I belatedly came across KristieJ's Quest at least a year ago, and decided anything inspiring that level of glee was worth a read. And I discovered that, while I don't love it as much as she does, it was definitely a satisfyingly emotional experience. And then I misplaced the half a review I wrote right after I read it, and only just now rediscovered it. Let's see how much I remember, neh?

Just the Facts:
Broken Wing by Judith James
Published by Medallion Press in 2008; ISBN 9781933836447
Genre: Historical Romance
(Unofficially, it's also rather an epic coming of age tale. So if you're tired of that trope from too many YA novels, this might not do it for you. The subject matter is pretty adult, however, so I think it's worth a try.)

Highlights/Synopsis:

"Raised" in a brothel, Gabriel St. Croix becomes the protector of an innocent young boy, preventing Jamie from being used and abused by the Madame and her patrons as he was as a child. When Jamie's brother and sister manage to track him down and rescue him, Jamie insists that his friend Gabriel come along too. Luckily, Jamie's family, despite being 'Peers of the Realm', so to speak, are unconventional enough to realize just what Gabriel protected Jamie from, and thus agree to this demand; they even go so far as to 'hire' Gabriel to help Jamie's transition back to polite society.

Thus begins the love story between Gabriel and Jamie's sister Sarah, but despite the care of Jamie's family, Gabriel still has a lot to do to become a self-sufficent adult in the brand new world he discovers once he's free from the brothel. When his romance hits a snag, he leaves to prove himself a worthy suitor to Sarah's hand. But of course things go wrong, and as the blurb says:

"Becoming a mercenary, pirate and a professional gambler, Gabriel travels to London, France, and the Barbary Coast in a desperate attempt to find Sarah again and all he knows of love. On the way, however, he will discover the most dangerous journey, and the greatest gamble of all, is within the darkest reaches of his own heart."

Setting: Early Napoleonic Europe (and North Africa!)

While the quality of the historical setting didn't have the sparkle of Novik's Temeraire, (but that could just be awesome dragon sparkle, not setting sparkle, as I am crazy fond of the dragons), it was well done. No glaring idiosyncracies or modern touches threw me out of the time period, and the focus on pirates/privateers and the slave trade was a welcome fresh perspective. Having had some basic Spanish history back in High School when I worked my way up to Spanish 5, I am usually disappointed by the total lack of mention of the Islamic and North African influences in Europe in most historicals. James was remarkably ambitious with this setting, especially for what I believe is a first novel, but it worked for me, so congratulations are in order for the originality and enthusiasm.

On Romance:

I've gathered from reading about this book around the web that a lot of people have varying levels of issues with the second half of the book. People who liked all the characters didn't like that the romantic leads were separated for the entire second half. Others accepted the separation, but didn't feel the eventual reconciliation. Gabriel could physically have returned from his adventures long before he did, and some couldn't forgive him for staying away. However, I felt that James did a great job of showing how emotionally unready he was to accept his relationship.

I completely bought the personal journey Gabriel had to go through, and thus it worked for me. He wasn't ready to be a healthy adult when he and Sarah first fell in love, and getting lost again, even though it wasn't nearly as bad as his childhood, helped give him the perspective to finally CHOOSE to leave it all behind, rather than just letting Jamie's family rescue him. He had to rescue himself as well.

The final concern I came across a lot online was one of character, that Sarah was unbelievable as a love interest. She was just too perfect, too forgiving, an idealized woman as a contrast to Gabriel's wonderfully complex character. I rather see their point, as she understands Gabriel so well she can easily forgive him when he returns, and never seems to cause any conflict herself. I really liked her character, however, as I found her interesting, and unconventional enough to stand with Gabriel. I simply didn't have problems with her role in Gabriel's story. Cause that's what this book is: Gabriel's story. Even though it has a luscious love story, it's all about Gabriel, not Gabriel and Sarah. So, you see Sarah as Gabriel does, not as anyone else would, and he thinks she's perfect. Because she's perfect for him. (Insert "aww" or *rolled eyes @jillyfae's cheesiness* here depending on your personality.)

Conclusion:

If you like historical fiction, especially when it's not regency-lite, epic adventure, and/or romance, you should probably give this one a try. (Plus it has pirates!) I vaguely recall some loose plotting and awkward phrasing, but nothing that threw me out of the story, and it was highly (and effectively) emotional without resorting to cheap tear-jerker tricks. I found myself smiling and/or sniffling as intended throughout the story. (And this was well before the pregnancy, so I can't even blame the extra hormones.) With some polish earned from a couple more books under her belt, James will probably be quite the author to reckon with.

Proof we, as parents, (mostly me but sometimes the husband), are not good enough at hiding our video games from the young child

2009-12-11T15:52:00.000-05:00

When a nature magazine you’re reading mentions wolverines, he thinks they meant Balverines.

After singing Santa Clause is Coming to Town, he decides he needs to make his own Nice and Naughty lists, and informs you the Darkspawn are on the Naughty list.

(He is also worried that, in some epic tale he’s made up in his head, the Darkspawn have gotten Ahsoka. I don’t know if Darkspawn discovered spaceships, or Ahsoka traveled to Thedas. It’s quite possible they all went somewhere else entirely, however, since Slimer may have shown up somewhere in the story. And I think I might have heard mention of an Omnitrix as well. It’s rather hard to follow. I’m thinking he watches too much TV too.)

He recognizes a Mass Effect 2 trailer from the logo before it starts. He can clearly distinguish all the ME2 screenshots and trailers on the computer from the original ME game here at home.

(Though he only started calling it Mass Effect when he saw pictures of the second one. Before that it was just “mom’s space game”. Not sure why the distinction, since the only Star Wars game that gets any distinction is Lego Star Wars. The rest of them, from Force Unleashed, to KotOR, to Rogue Leader, are all just Star Wars. And he never wants me to play The Sith Lords, just KotOR I. I think he likes Mission.)

He knows Samus is a girl, and thinks she, her cannon, and anything the morph-ball does, is awesome. (Ok, that one’s not bad. Samus is awesome.)

Jade Empire is now called Tiger Claws, and Lost Planet is “the snow game”.

He dances a lot like a Minion.

Shooting lightening from his hands is his favorite ‘attack’ in epic storytelling/pretend mode. His favorite lightsaber color is red, too. (Though, he has various magic powers in these stories that let him turn bad guys into good guys so they can play too, in case anyone was worried he was sounding excessively bloodthirsty even for a little boy.)

And finally, he can put all the games back (in alphabetical order) on the shelf from memory, even though he can’t actually read yet.

Yeah, I'm starting to think we need to get out more. o_0;;

more gaming obsessions aka I am such a girl sometimes.

2009-12-07T21:43:00.001-05:00

So, I have spent much of my free time lately playing the greatest video game EVER. (Well, the bestest game that I've every played, anyways.) The lore and story are wonderfully in depth, the combat is never boring (though I played on super-baby-easy-level since I've never played a tactical RPG before and I didn't want to die), and the characters are SPECTACULAR. Even the side characters I run across on minor quests are generally interesting and well acted. The ones on major quests are usually well-developed, and the people who actually join me on my quest are highly engaging and entertaining.

I go to talk to a companion person in my game, and instead of just letting me interrogate them in the typical RPG manner, they interrupt and ask me stuff! The knight-templar asks me what I think of the rest of the group, the older mage asks me about my commitment to my duty, and the wild mage lady asks me about my mother. *laughs* My favorites are when some member of my in-game group is teasing my character mercilessly about her romance. Or teasing the object of my affection in the background while we're exploring somewhere. Hysterically funny. (Actual non-spoiler-y example: Wynne, an older-than-the-rest-of-us-younglings-mage actually ISN'T teasing Alistair, my romantic templar-knight fellow, but wishing us well, and he keeps waiting for the punchline. Which he is forced to provide himself when she doesn't say anything snarky.)

And the romance I played in the game is simply ADORABLE. Sweet, silly, and, well, romantic. Especially effective against the grim potential end-of-the-world story that is the main plot.

DRAGON AGE SPOILERS!
(don't know how to do spoiler tags in blogger, sorry. Should probably figure that out if I'm going to start reviewing books and games, neh?)

Of course, the first time I finished the game, Alistair sacrificed himself to save my character's life, and I CRIED. Buckets. I blame the pregnancy hormones, since it's vaguely embarrassing to lose it at a video game. ^_~ I grabbed an old save and figured out a way for him not to die, so that made me happier. I hear tell there's a way (through dialogue) to get a more romantic good-bye when he does die to save your life, but I'm not sure I'll ever actually put myself through that ending again to find out. (So I'm a wimp. At least I admit it.)

/END DRAGON AGE SPOILERS

I realized after finishing the game, that despite some of the weaknesses of format, (there are only a few ways reliably used for interaction in a VG after all... lots of dialogue and the periodic cut scene), it was one of the most endearing romantic storylines I've come across in quite awhile. Which is sad, since I tend to read romance/romantic novels. (Well, Nalini Singh's latest made me cry too, even though I had, what, five pages left and knew it was all going to work out? Those pregnancy hormones are getting a lot of flack lately.) Most of them seem to be missing some vital spark of actual romance lately in favor of angst or sex or drama. *sighs*

Maybe it was simply the quality of Alistair's voice acting, which one obviously doesn't get in a book, and completely got to me, pretty much no matter what he was saying. (Is it bad when an imaginary CGI character makes you swoon a bit?) Or the fact that he wasn't an alpha-male, which is generally how romantic leads in novels are written. (WHY? People are not only interested in uber-alpha-control-freaks! Especially since IRL they're usually not that like-able.)

I think what really sold me, however, is that since you have to PLAY the romance, you could screw it up. Or adapt it (a bit) to your preference. Which brings me back to why the good RPG's are so horribly addicting. They're like a choose-your-own-adventure book that's GOOD: today I'm going to retell one of my favorite stories, and see what new plot twist and/or character twist I can make happen. (Or combat/character build variety, if that floats your boat. Definitely secondary to me to the story/characters, but still fun.) How cool is that? Then again, I like to re-read and re-re-read books I really like. If I didn't, maybe replaying RPG's wouldn't be quite so entertaining...

And on that note... *insert your own interesting conclusion to rambling here* Bye all!

I am such a nerd. RPG FTW!

2009-12-05T22:41:00.001-05:00

In other news, my online RP group has been wonderfully inspired this week. Just about everyone did some side-story writing and small group role-playing, including one big chunk that that I wrote up to post to the group adventure log. (In present tense, for no apparent reason. It reminded me of the Recluse books (though obviously not as polished/high-quality), as they're the only novels I've read in present tense. It is very bizarre, but every time I tried to write it in past tense, I'd suddenly revert for a few dialogue tags, and have to go back, so I gave up and switched the whole thing over. It confounded my poor proof-reader a bit, but he was quite good-natured about it.)

It is remarkably time consuming to translate a group chat into a remotely readable story format, even if all you do is clean up dialogue tags and add some slight descriptions. I am even more in awe of our GM now, who usually writes up our weekly gaming session for us all to peruse.

It was great fun, however, and I'm definitely going to have to work up some more side plots I can RP with some members of the group in the next few weeks before the baby is born and I devote all my spare time to napping. ^_~

And now I'm attempting to work on some back-story for my character again, as the rest of the group is making me feel like I'm falling behind. *laughs* (Mostly j/k, in case any of them run across this.) In reality, all the work everyone does is just making the inspiration bubble in the back of my mind, and I want to DO SOMETHING with it. (Anyone who gets the Wrede/Stevermer reference gets a cookie.) It's currently simply a niggling little character piece, about Naessa's brother Ninnion and his fiancee (sorry, I do not know how to do accent marks in blogger), which might display a bit of Naessa's opinion on romance and marriage, which weirdly enough might be important in game. Even if it's not important, it's interesting, (to me at least, being excessively romantic), so I hope I can get it to go somewhere.

Oh, and in reference to the previous character-writing bit way back in October, I ended up throwing out the old short story I was trying to write completely, and instead simply gave Naessa a really nasty nightmare. Which is actually worse than the memory I wrote out to explain it, but the character isn't ready to talk about it yet, so I have to wait until she feels like conversing with someone. Did that make any sense? At least I know what the actual nightmare is, so if I get a chance, I'll know where I need the conversation to go.

There are two people in the party in particular I think she might be motivated to share with, as she thinks they might need the insight, but she's also horribly embarrassed by the whole thing, so I'm not quite sure how that will work out, or what would be a good trigger event to make her search either of them out for a quiet conversation. Or she might talk to someone else completely, cause she already likes/trusts him. Or his wife. And it's really hard to talk about a game to people who aren't playing, as no one will have any idea what I'm talking about, unless they're in the game themselves. In which case, most of this would be redundant. *laughs*

All in all, I am loving this game, and the writing we've all been inspired to do for it. It is great fun, and helps me avoid the incipient brain-melting-out-my-ears sensation I usually suffer from around the end of the year, when I realize how long I've been a stay-at-home mom without a lot of outside interaction. (No work, no school, makes jillyfae feel brain-dead.)

However, no brain dead this year! I am still lousy at housework, and unprepared for a new baby in the house, but that's par for the course, so to speak. I'm hoping the little guy is late rather than early, so I have a bit more time to get my act together. A wish that almost guarantees he'll be early, I know, but I can't seem to help myself. *crosses fingers*

And now, back to the awkward-conversation-story I'm working on.

The First Snowfall of the Season. I love winter.

2009-12-05T21:39:00.000-05:00

So, today was a truly lovely day. The child went downstairs when he woke up, running into the husband, so I got to sleep in! For, quite possibly, the first time in over a year. It was great. I woke up a few times, but I could slightly hear the boys downstairs, and no one was screaming, so I didn't have to get up.

And then, upon wandering downstairs and making coffee and looking out the window, I discovered it was snowing! So, the little dude and I went outside to play in the snow. He helped some neighbor children build a snow pile (it kept breaking, so they didn't quite get to snowman status) and a snow frog, interrupted by periodic snow ball fights. (Snow ball fights of the around five age group are quite amusing, as they really just stand about a foot apart and chuck bits of snow at each other, and only occasionally attempt some crazy concept like running away or dodging. *snickers*)

Unfortunately, the silly mom had brought the dog, (who was extra hyper cause of snow and little kids), and hadn't put snow pants on the four-year-old (who kept trying to play on the snowy slide in regular pants), so we didn't get to stay out too long. It was still after lunch time by the time we got back, however, so all in all, a pretty perfect morning. If it doesn't ice over too much tonight, we're going to try and build a little snow fort in the backyard tomorrow. :) (Very little, as there wasn't THAT much accumulation, but I don't think the four-year-old is likely to be too picky.)

Then we spent a quiet afternoon putzing around the house, followed by the wonderful husband braving the stupid-first-snowfall-drivers to pick up cheeseburgers for his pregnant wife who had a minor craving and REALLY didn't want to make anything. :D And now I'm watching him play Overlord (silly minions!) while I type, and I am remarkably satisfied and content with my day. I didn't do a thing, and I'm ok with that for once.

And I think now would be a good time to make some hot chocolate.

WIP update

2009-10-22T11:11:00.000-04:00

So, I've been trying to get started on a short story for several weeks now. I write a bit, it doesn't go anywhere, I delete it all, and attempt to start over. Or, I just sit and stare at a blank screen mentally twiddling my thumbs. Very annoying.

HOWEVER!

It is almost November, and I'm attempting NaNo again, and I need a warm-up, so... I must write a short story before November. No choice. (I'm going to keep saying that until I believe it and actually finish.)

This particular short story is background for Naessa, my character in Silent Winter, the online PnP campaign I'm playing. I know where I want to start, and end for once, but have no idea what really happens in the middle. No plot. Some random characters. A really vague idea for happenings in another clan, but I'm not sure if it actually serves any purpose with the main story.

Main Points:

Conflict with travelling elves from "wild" clan (violence)
Unofficial status of Ninnion/Ashoa engagement (romance)
"weird" magic echoes in the Fade (mystery)
Receive mage staff from Keeper Darana at end (resolution)

Questionable side-plot:
problems with Elon and Keeper Zholon and their clan; poor Jatris, omens from Bringer of Nightmares?

So there, that didn't make any sense to anyone not me. Must try a slightly more in depth synopsis for next time. Which won't be for awhile, since now I need to clean, as people are coming over Saturday. *PANIC!*

My Week in Gaming

2009-10-14T13:04:00.000-04:00

Silent Winter:

So, I'm in an actual table-top style role-playing group. (We meet online, for those who wonder how I met people. I didn't!) While this was technically the second session, the first session was short 2 1/2 people, (1 late plus 2 no-shows, including me), so this was our first real group adventure. And wow, we are a bit disorganized with the talking. *grins* But I had a wonderful time, and my character is fun to play, so I'm really looking forward to next week.

We're running a system our GM previously made and adapted for the group, (she's an awesome GM btw, very good at multi-tasking and character-specific reactions), based on the Dragon Age: Origins world. That game needs to come out NOW. It's finally almost here, and I am going crazy with anticipation. Ever remotely considered playing a video-game RPG? Have a decent computer, XBox 360, and/or PS3? Don't mind some gore and mature storylines? It's out November 3rd, and early reviews plus my rabid fan-status promise it will be WONDERFUL. Really. I swear.

Fable II

blergh. I pre-ordered this, and picked it up the day it came out. (I almost went to the midnight release party.) I started right away, and then... *shrugs* Didn't like something I'd done, but the stupid game doesn't have multiple save points, and I didn't want to start over, so... *shrugs* It languished on the shelf for a year.

I loved the first game... Fable is actually what got me back into gaming. I used to play adventure games on the computer a la King's Quest and the RPG-style Quest for Glory. I even played a couple pen-and-paper/tabletop games in college, but that was it for YEARS. Then I was stuck in my brother-in-law's house, most of my stuff still in storage from a move, without even a CAR, so I sat down in front of his XBox and tried Fable. It was silly, engaging, with an actual plot, plus an appropriately sinister villain, and I didn't even insta-die from combat. Wow!

The sequel lost the fun of the first one, and had a much weaker plot and villain. Plus, while I did enjoy the revamped combat system, I have discovered I HATE sandbox endings. (I am glaring at you, now, ME2. Though, from all accounts/expectations, you'll actually have a decent story and villain to fight, so I guess I'll survive. BioWare > Lionhead.) There are not enough words to describe what a let-down it is (personally, imho, ymmv, etc. etc.) to have some theoretical grand "sacrifice" (cause there wasn't even an active battle or proper confrontation against the villain) followed by... wandering around decorating houses and looking for minor side-quests?!?

Then again, that was a problem I had with the entire game, and the reason I bought Fallout 3 used only to return it before the week was out. (Traded in the copy of Morrowind I got with the original XBox too.) I have no idea why I keep trying to play sandbox games, since I have never actually liked one. Yet for some reason, a new one comes out, I think it looks all pretty and shiny and entertaining, and I attempt to play it... *rolls eyes*

I even bought the Fable II DLC when I thought I'd really like the game. *sighs* The DLC was quite fun, actually, but the game as a whole required slogging to finish the story, and then it DIDN'T give me anything resembling a satisfying ending, and the only interesting characters all wandered off on their own. Of course, everyone else in the world knew this a year ago when the game actually came out, but I only just now got around to playing. Which was a pretty significant sign in and of itself, really. *sighs again* Definitely not getting Fable III whenever it shows up. Probably selling Fable II. Keeping Fable to re-play later.

A new favorite author... how exciting.

2009-10-13T11:24:00.001-04:00

Graceling by Kristin Cashore

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
A wonderful, engaging YA fantasy, this book is so lovely that I haven't read anything else in the last few days, as I don't want to leave the world Cashore created. Needless to say, Fire is on hold as we speak. I'm not sure if the individual elements of the book are the best I've ever read, in terms of characterization, world-building, etc., but they all worked together seamlessly for me. (I don't have specific examples for the sentence, just a vague feeling I got from the book. The main characters were perhaps all a touch overpowered, but I didn't mind while reading.) Not a perfect book, but perfectly engaging. Highly recommended for fantasy, YA, or anyone who likes strong, intriguing female leads in their books.

View all my reviews >>

on bits of string and ceiling wax?

2009-09-10T17:39:00.007-04:00

genre: journal

So, I'm all proud of myself. I actually set a writing goal, and met it! It was a background prologue for an RP character, and was quite a bit of fun. It was extra tricky, as I don't have a lot of background on the world yet, so I was trying to be descriptive without making up lore that might later be contradicted. It was fun. And, if not spectacular, reasonable readable and enjoyable, imho/ymmv etc.

I haven't done any of my other personal goals for at least a month, as I've been excessively depressed, but I'm finally kicking that in the butt, so the next few weeks should be better. Assuming I actually manage some laundry and a shower tonight, so getting out of the house tomorrow isn't quite as much of a production. *rolls eyes* I am SO lame sometimes. /angst

I have been reading again, which was refreshing. Not having much luck writing up reviews, however, which isn't. (I guess I'm not actually done with the angst. My bad.) I guess I don't trust my own voice to have anything new to say about whatever I'm reading. The thing I always used to be good at with my friends, is figuring out if something I'd read or watched would be something they'd like.

Though, I cannot figure out the little dude's godparents' movie tastes. They love stuff I would've thought they'd hate, and they hate things that I think are pretty entertaining. *shrugs* Besides them, I'm usually pretty good though. *laughs* I haven't figured out how to turn that knack into something I can apply to a general review, however, and it's the only thing I can think of that might enable my to apply a more interesting (and useful) spin to whatever I'm working on. Suggestions?

Or better yet, anyone want to be my partner? I think that's what I'd really like. The partnerships on my favorite blogs are a large part of why I find them so enjoyable. (Especially The Book Smugglers -- see sidebar.) We could set up a review blog. Books, graphic novels, a few TV shows/movies for variety. Some personal hobby from the other person to balance out my occasional gaming and/or mommy posts. Anyone want to volunteer to set something up with me? *big evil embarrassed grin*

Oh wait, for that I'd need readers, and the few I had once upon a time have all given up on me. My bad, yet again. (MORE ANGST! GO ME! /SARCASM)

I had some great toddler stories from this past week, but I didn't write them down when they happened, so now I can't quite get them back... *sighs* Except the fact that he is inordinately fond of a lot of really old kids CD's my mother got him just for the heck of it. Some Raffi, Really Rosie (the Sendak inspired musical), Dinosaur Rock (don't even have a clue where that one came from), etc. This also includes Peter, Paul, and Mommy, which inspired the Puff the Magic Dragon quotation above.

And, now that I've hopefully gotten Puff stuck in your head right about now, I should probably run away again. :D

untitled brief note

2009-08-26T23:15:00.003-04:00

genre: journal

I have suddenly in the last few days suddenly hit the "holy crap, I'm really pregnant" stage. My skin is itchy, my tummy sticks out noticeably, and I was starting to waddle my way through the store yesterday. I also burst into tears after leaving the doctor's office, as I'd somehow gotten the wrong time, and the lady who rescheduled the appointment seemed to be implying I was a class-A jerk for being 40 minutes late and still expecting to get in, rather than it being a simple communication error, and me wanting to reschedule as soon as they told me the problem. I totally freaked out the DH, suddenly crying in the middle of the hallway.

Note: I'm not sure the lady meant to imply that I was being a jerk, but she certainly made me feel like an idiot, intentionally or not. Stupid pregnancy hormones make me overly sensitive, and I'd been a little off/disorganized all day. Not that I'm trying to make excuses, but it's possible they weren't being nearly as bad as it seemed to me, customer service wise.

news

2009-08-23T11:05:00.004-04:00

genre: journal

So, guess who's getting a little brother, due in January? We're leaning towards naming the new little one Wyatt Spencer. And we have a really adorable ultrasound pic of him trying to eat his own hand. Unfortunately, our scanner is a pain, and we forgot to ask for extra and/or digital copies, so you're all just going to have to take my word for it. (Yes, I know, I'm a big meanie. *grins*)

Not such big news, but still fun, the husband found a neat-o music store, and bought himself a guitar and a starter book so he can start teaching himself. And the little dude and I had way too much fun playing with the keyboards, so when we're done unpacking, (in about 5 years, judging by previous experience *rolls eyes*), I might try and get one and re-teach myself some piano... *shrugs* we'll see. Look, we actually have the potential for adult hobbies! Anyone with little children will understand how exciting this is for us... *laughs*

Not too much else going on. We had a visit from the little dude's godparents and family, who are pretty much our favorite people in the world, so even though it was only a couple of days, it was awesome. (And we discovered that the pools on post are really nice!)

erm. Can't think of much else, will try again later. Ooh, I know. I must write about the awesomesauce that is Sesame Place. Stay tuned? *snorts*

Week-In-Review

2009-04-28T16:45:00.006-04:00

Books
Wanderlust by Ann Aguirre
genre notes: sf, sequel to Grimspace

While I am vaguely unsatisfied by some character explanation, and annoyed at the much-more-obvious-than-last-time cliff-hanger, I still greatly enjoyed the world, characters, and developing plotlines. Recommended, with the caveat that those who aren't thrilled with plot dangling mid-series books might want to wait until Doubleblind (due at the end of Sept 2009) comes out, or even book four (Killshot tentatively set for Oct 2010). Regardless of potential qualms (which might very well be improved in the next books), I am adding them to my potential TBB list, and will certainly hunt down and read a copy of Blue Diablo sometime in the soon-ish future.

Undercover by Lauren Dane
genre notes: sf, erotic romance, stand-alone
(2nd novel set in same universe, Relentless, due out May 2009)

While the menage relationship had potential, and the political structure was slightly interesting, after reading Aguirre, Lindskold, and Bujold lately, it seemed very shallow, and the science was skiffy rather than intriguing. Or, to me at least, it didn't seem to make much sense. Maybe it is based on some realistic science I've just never heard of, but it seemed a bit too hand-wavey to me. While slipping through portals between parallel universes is a unique way to handle the whole FTL conundrum, it didn't work for me.

And, well, three people fall in love pretty quickly and conveniently, and most of their relationship is about the sex, (this being erotic romance, after all), so while they were a sexually compelling triad, I didn't buy into the love. I'm a touch old-fashioned, and prefer classic Heyer-style Regencies rather than most of the ones written nowadays, with the sex crammed in there somewhere, and have decided that this preference spreads across most of my romance/romantic element reading.

Unless, of course, you're reading for the titillation, in which case Undercover does a pretty good job of it without sacrificing the plot.

retro re-read: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia Wrede

2009-04-28T10:10:00.000-04:00

genre: review

Statistics
Author: Patricia C. Wrede
Publisher: Point (Scholastic)
Genre: Fantasy (technically YA, which shouldn't surprise me but does)
Titles: Dealing with Dragons (1990, ISBN 0590457225)
Searching for Dragons (1991, ISBN 0590457217)
Calling on Dragons (1993, ISBN 0590484672)
Talking to Dragons (1985 original, 1995 edited reissue ISBN 0590484753)
"Utensile Strength" from Book of Enchantments (1996 ISBN 0590972189).

Setting
A wonderfully rich fairy-tale realm, wherein many of the inhabitants get caught up on the ideas of proper behavior and appearance based on fairy tale themes. Very detailed, with many characters/side-quests recognizable from specific fairy tales. Frequently and surprisingly funny, the setting is a character in and of itself. Wrede makes distinctions between the different kinds of magic and magical creatures within her fairy-tale realms, and handles them with a light and consistent touch. The dragons in particular are unique and memorable, which can be difficult to pull off with such a popular fantasy 'species'.

Plot(s)
The continuing adventures of Cimorene, an 'extraordinary princess', and her friends and family. It begins when Princess Cimorene runs away from home to seek her fortune. (What, merchant's sons get to do it all the time, what do you mean Princesses don't?) It continues as she finds adventure, prestige, friends, and eventually a husband and son.

After repeatedly getting in trouble for browbeating her tutors into teaching her interesting things like fencing, cooking, and magic, rather than the imminently proper etiquette and embroidery, Princess Cimorene is engaged to a rather dim knight to get her to 'settle down'. So she runs away and volunteers to be Kazul the Dragon's princess, thus initiating the hi-jinks in Dealing with Dragons. (Evil plots! Dragons with allergies! Princesses trying to learn how to cook, read latin, and avoid dragon fire-breath!)

Searching for Dragons introduces Mendanbar, King of the Enchanted Forest, as he investigates some strange goings-on in his kingdom, meets Cimorene, and helps her rescue Kazul from the clutches of the 'trying-to-be-evil-and-powerful' Wizards. (Plus there's a wedding.)

In Calling on Dragons, things go rather horribly wrong, and our heroes almost fail to stop the Wizards' newest dastardly plot, until...

Daystar, Cimorene and Mendanbar's son, is old enough to go on a quest of his own, meet some new friends, and finish off the remnants of the aforementioned dastardly plot in Talking to Dragons.

Book of Enchantments actually has two Enchanted Forest stories, one of which has nothing to do with any of the same people, but is recognizably the same fairy-tale world. (It has a cat and a unicorn, and another unconventional princess. It's also available in Bruce Coville's A Unicorn Treasury.) The second is a minor adventure of the newly reunited royal family (after book four) when faced with a highly unusual magical weapon. (It's one of the best short stories I've ever read, to be honest. Funny, and it comes with a recipe for chocolate cake! Really yummy, almost brownie-dense chocolate cake. *drools*)

Random Thoughts
Part of what makes the structure of the serie interesting is the fact that Talking with Dragons was actually written first, and then Wrede wrote the three prequel books as an expansion to a short story she'd penned about Cimorene's original flight from home. The third in the series is probably the weakest, as it seems to be a bit of stretch to get the first two to match up with the 'fourth' book, and even so they didn't quite make it. (The third book is really more about Morwen's cats than anything else, which while amusing and enjoyable, doesn't really help the plot any.)

As the new books didn't actually match the back story she'd put in the original, Talking with Dragons was edited to fit and re-issued after the 'first' three were published. It doesn't effect Daystar's adventure, just the explanation from his parents near the end, so it's perfectly acceptable to read the original version if that's the only one you come across. All four maintain the same light, sideways-fairy-tale feel, whichever version you're reading.

Characters
While Cimorene is arguably the 'lead' for the series, only the first book is from her POV. She is, to me, the most vibrant character, a compassionate and strong-willed Princess who doesn't suffer fools gladly. Perhaps a tad too perfect, in retrospect, but these are fairy tales, after all. Kazul the Dragon, who takes Cimorene in as her Princess in the first book, is also a delight, and effectively not-human in her behavior. The only other recurring character included from the beginning is Morwen, a (good) witch living in the Enchanted Forest. Morwen even gets to be the POV character for book three, with the added bonus of her nine (suprisingly distinct) cats.

Mendanbar and Daystar (POV from books 2 and 4), seem partially defined by their existence in Cimorene's orbit. Not that I'm sure what point I'm trying to make with that observation, as it is perfectly reasonable plot-wise, as Cimorene gets them both going on their respective quests. Book 3 is largely brought to life by Morwen's cats, who are incapable of keeping their little noses out of anyone's business, and the one shot character of Killer, a rabbit who keeps getting smacked around by the wrong end of the magical schtick, so to speak.

The characters are wonderfully realized, but there's no actual development; they're all pretty much the same at the end as they were at the beginning. They're such amusing, captivating characters that I never minded. Rather like Slayers, for anyone who has seen the anime. No one changes, but they're so much fun as the are ...

Conclusion:
A fun, fast, light read that is entertaining, amusing, and repeatedly enjoyable. The entire chronicle stands up well, since I'm still reading it after more than 10 years. A definite selling point about well done fantasy ... it almost never gets dated. A fact that makes the limited amount of material published in the past 10 years extra sad. (Though, she seems to be back now, and I need myself a copy of Thirteenth Child. And a complete Wrede backlist... I do not own any of the Lyra books myself, having 'borrowed' them from my mother whenever I wanted to read them. I should fix that. Maybe they'll be reissued if Frontier Magic does well?)

If you're interested in serious action, (rather than frequently farcical hysterical action), dense plots, character development, or intimate relationships, these are probably not the books for you. Then again, I'm usually drawn to intimate character development, and I enjoyed these enough to make sure I had my own copies instead of glomming off my mother's shelves, so that's obviously not a very strict judgement.

If you like fairy-tales, fantasy with a light touch, and/or have a fondness for some ludicrous and silly in your sense of humor, these are definitely worth hunting down. (As the plots are relatively unimportant, there should be no problem in reading them out of order, so if you can only find one, feel free to enjoy. And that from someone who tends to be close to pathological in her need to read even open-ended mystery series in order!)

I suppose I should eventually figure out a grading scale for sorting these reviews... but I think it can wait until I get a regular schedule and a couple readers. *laughs*

"Welcome to the Jungle"

2009-04-26T10:30:00.001-04:00

genre: review

Just the Facts:
Welcome to the Jungle by Jim Butcher and Ardian Syaf
Published by Dabel Brothers in 2008, ISBN 9780345507464
Synopsis:
A stand-alone prequel to Butcher's Dresden Files, this "comic book" provides a lively introduction to the series, or an enjoyable side jaunt to those of us who've read some of the books already.

Meet Harry Dresden, and the cop (Karrin Murphy) who needs his help with an odd murder at the zoo. See Harry be suspicious -- no one really thinks it was the gorilla! See Harry look for evil magic. (Get a glimpse at the evil magic in Harry's past!) See Harry fight evil magic user(s). (See me avoid giving spoilers about who or what the bad guy(s) could be by using strange vague terms! Go me!) See the evil magic user(s) fight back. "OW!" Oh, and meet Bob, my favorite spirit/talking skull EVER.

Artwork:
Oh, it is so pretty... and there are some very interesting 'behind the scenes' type concept art and blurbs in the back of the collection. Butcher comments that he thinks Syaf got very close to the version of Harry he has in his head, and I must admit to enjoying seeing Harry accidentally loom over everyone, especially Murphy. (It says in the books he's crazy tall, and she's deceptively petite, but it's extra fun to see the contrast rather than just read about it.) The colors are vibrant, the scenes have both good details and clear actions. Some graphic novels I tend to just skim the pictures, cause they either don't add a lot to the story, or they're so busy I can't tell what they're trying to show me. This has neither of those problems.

(OT: This makes me want to buy the Take a Chance graphic novel EVEN MORE, now that I know I like the primary artist as well as the author. And they're not even done with the single issue run, so I have to WAIT. I have no patience.)

Setting:
An alternate (but similar to our own) Chicago where magic is real, even if no one admits it out loud, and our hero, Harry Dresden, is the only practicing Wizard in the phone book. (He's also a licensed Private Investigator, which helps him be a consultant for the Chicago PD and pay his bills.) It's a rather dark world, as most of Harry's life is spent fight evil nasty magical things that no one else believes in, so he has to fight them kind-of on his own. It's got a wicked sense of humor to go with the dark, however, so I quite enjoy it.

Characters:
Harry Dresden, Wizard for Hire. Sarcastic and hard on himself, he always tries to do the right thing without getting himself killed. So far he's succeeded, but he's really bad at avoiding getting smacked around.

Lt. Karrin Murphy, head of Chicago PD's 'Special Investigations', aka the department where personnel who got in trouble are dumped to deal with all the weird unexplainable cases. And by deal, they mean make up semi-logical/non-mystical rationale for all the weird $#!^. Murphy, however, actually wants to stop the freaky magical bad guys, so she hires Harry to help out. At this prequel stage, they're still not quite sure of each other, so there's not a lot of sharing of information. (Their developing relationship is a large part of the reason I like the continuing series. Which I'm several books behind on... should fix that.)

Various and assorted minor characters, (both one-shot and recurring) are all nicely distinct and intriguing. As I hate even minor spoiler-y bits, I'll leave it at that, except for mentioning I loved how Butcher set up the animals at the zoo, cause even they have personalities. And good ones, without overly anthropomorphizing them, which can be hard.

Random Thoughts
The DH commented when we were watching Castle a few weeks ago, that it seems to be 'the thing' to pair the male non-traditional something-or-other with a female cop/agent. I'm assuming this is an attempt to avoid 'useless female sidekick' situations, but it is odd just how many of them are on TV right now. (Castle, 11th Hour, The Mentalist, etc.) Are there no other ways to make the female character tough and interesting besides giving her the gun? Dresden, however, is a much older series, (book 11 is a hardcover bestseller!), and Murphy is very well done, so I'm giving Butcher a pass on this particular overdone character dichotomy. Plus, this GN is just pretty... *sighs happily* I am sometimes such a girl. Even if you're not though, anyone who likes action-oriented urban fantasy (or noir!) should enjoy this one.

Week In Review

2009-04-24T09:11:00.008-04:00

So, I've discovered that when I try and sit down to just write a review, I self-edit too much. I have to say something clever, and new, and interesting! And then I don't write anything. So, I'm going to try something a bit different. I'm going to do a quick rundown of whatever I've spent my free-time on each week on Friday, and try more topic oriented entries the rest of the week. (I'm percolating something on world-building that I'll hopefully figure out by Monday.)

Books
Grimspace by Ann Aguirre
genre notes: science-fiction, romantic elements, first in series

So, I know I'm coming late to the party, but the house rule is supposed to be that, unless it's by Gaiman or Briggs, I'm not allowed to buy anything until I've read it and know it's worth the money. (I have broken this rule a few times for things I couldn't find at the library, but I try to avoid that behavior.) And it took the library forever to get a copy of this one anywhere near me. (Even via ILL, which is what I did.)

Definitely worth the wait, however. A very clear voice for the heroine, and a fascinating social/technological structure. What was remarkable for a debut science fiction novel was the fact that there was not ONE noticeable world-building info-dump in the entire book. The lead, Sirantha Jax, would occasionally consider things about the world around her, which was always in character and related to the current plot dilemma. I seldom discover first-person sf/f/uf books that don't suffer from "let me tell you a bit about my world and how it's different from yours" at some point, usually near the beginning. And really, who thinks like that? (I know I wake up every morning thinking about social development and world history, and spell it out in my thoughts. Don't you? /sarcasm) The rest of the book could've been crap, and I would love Aguirre for this alone. There is a choice between wallpaper and distracting from the story by displaying the world building. This is it.

As an important point, however, the rest of the book is NOT crap. The plot was interesting, and sufficiently intricate without being confusing, and the characters were mostly distinct and memorable. There were quite a few unanswered questions raised about the heroine herself, but as this is the first in a series, I gather that was on purpose. (And the primary plot ended well, so no fear of reading if you don't like big cliff-hangers.) Recommended for: action, setting (sf universe), and voice.

Sebastian and Belladonna by Anne Bishop
genre notes: fantasy, romance, duology (complete)

The Landscapes of Ephemera (as Bishop named this world) are lush, evocative, emotional, and highly mutable. The heroes are all outcasts to varying degrees, as the world has lost touch with its own power, and thinks they're all too dangerous to be trusted. As the 'villain' in this is an actual evil construct, I found it much less unpleasant that the seriously nasty/icky torture-loving bad guys from her Fae trilogy and the continuing Black Jewels books. Personal reaction, however, YMMV and all that stuff.

I'm not really sure what else to say for these. They're romantic, and descriptive, and eventually quite hopeful. Most speculative fiction takes a relatively well defined step sideways from our world, but Bishop throws that out the window and creates worlds that bear no relation to our basic understandings of cause and effect. I enjoyed them, but I can't think of a particular viewpoint to use to recommend them. (I absolutely devoured them, so I do recommend them, I just can't think why, or how to clarify it. Must ponder.)

The Spymaster's Lady by Joanna Bourne
genre notes: historical romance

I just have to say, this is why I don't shop in the romance section at the bookstore. If I hadn't seen recommendations online, I never would've picked this up based on the wretched cover, but it is the AWESOME. Wonderfully complex, fast-paced, good character development, and highly satisfying conflict and resolution. (If not 100% believable, since, well, spies never are for me, plus there's one borderline miracle fix in the middle. It was a pretty well set-up fix though, so it was still a great read.) Lovely. If you have ever enjoyed historical fiction, (Napoleonic in particular), any spy story less extreme than Bond/Bourne, or romance, you should read this one. (Just ignore the cover.)

Netflix Picks
erm. Didn't actually watch anything in particular this week. Except, of course, for Supernatural last night. Love me some Winchesters. The only show I buy on DVD, rather than renting. (Well, and Buffy, but I get those used. Still missing seasons 5 and 7.)

I even caught the end of Smallville, which was good as well. So much better now they FINALLY got rid of Lana. The DH loathes Lana past all description, as she is nothing like the 'girl-next-door' type from the stories he's read/seen before, and I'm not much better, as I found the relationship excessively repetitive and melodramatic. Lois, Chloe, and Doomsday are so much more interesting. I'm even looking forward to some new Jimmy angst, now that he finally broke up with Chloe. I like Chloe, but she never did put that relationship first, and no one should be with someone who puts them third (or fourth!) in their life. The DH and I are hoping that they're finally gonna give Clark a push, and make it a Superman show. Cause avoiding it is getting rather contrived.

Games
Nancy Drew and the Curse of Blackmoor Manor
For some reason, Nancy Drew games are some form of personal crack for me. Though, being a romantic, I keep hoping they'll make one with a bit more of Ned in it. *laughs* This one is particularly good, though I got impatient and looked up a bunch of hints instead of taking a break and trying to figure it out myself later. There was only one puzzle I really wouldn't have gotten, cause my brain just didn't connect the dots. The rest of them I just needed a bit of a push. I love UHS. Nice atmosphere, suitably creepy characters, and I actually didn't figure it out. (Well, I missed one of the clues that would've helped, but I still don't think I would've.) I don't want to wait until my next game credit to get another one. But I need to finish a math class this weekend, so... *sighs* I can be patient. Promise. o_0;;

Thank goodness the dog is not adventurous

2009-04-21T09:52:00.003-04:00

genre: journal

I need to go buy a new halter or harness for the puppy dog, as his just popped off when we stepped outside for a quick puppy potty-break. Luckily, he simply ran down the hill he was on, sniffed some plants on the neighbor's patio, then came right up to me when I walked down the steps on said hill and called his name. I totally freaked out though, as the DH is off at a conference this week, and I'd hate to have to tell him I lost our dog. *shudders* And now that we're inside, said dog is baying at someone outside, which is not acceptable puppy behavior, so he's getting a time out. Today is just not a good day for canines, apparently. :D I am so unsympathetic.

The Landscapes of Ephemera

2009-04-21T01:27:00.003-04:00

genre: belated review-ish

The April Challenge was for UF/Paranormal/Fantasy, so I finally got around to dragging Sebastian and Belladonna out of my local library. (OT 1: My library and I have ISSUES! I miss the library I had in my hometown... *le sigh*) (OT 2: All my TBR challenges will be library or recent purchases, as I don't own anything I want to read that I haven't. My book buying budget is too small to waste.)

erm, where was I? Right, review.

I picked Anne Bishop because I found her Dark Jewels (aka Realms of the Blood) books fascinating, if a touch unsettling. Dark, evocative, and completely sideways from normal fantasy. Most speculative fiction takes a step, maybe two, away from our regular world. If you take out the magic or the spaceships*, it's easy to translate most stories to our world. They follow our basic understanding of cause and effect, our own scientific method applied to imagined cultures, sciences, and traditions. Bishop's books don't do that. Her worlds follow no form of traditional logic, and set up mutable, fluctuating realms. This occasionally makes my brain hurt, as the breadth of imagination is hard to fit into my expectations, but that's usually a good thing. I was a little leery, however, as her previous works were, for me, quite unpleasantly dark in places.

The Ephemera duology, however, hit none of my personal hot buttons, so there was no squirming, or trying to read with one eye until I got to the less nasty bits. Not that there isn't some gruesome evil violence going on, or that the antagonists weren't scary and powerful. It just wasn't graphic enough, or brutal enough, or touching enough on my own personal 'ick factors', to make me as uncomfortable as the hatred and torture prevalent in the bad guys in 'The Worlds of the Fae' or 'The Realms of the Blood'. In other words, they were very effective, without being so over-the-top as to distract me from the story and worldbuilding. Yeah!

I always pay some attention to the world-building, as, in my opinion, the setting of a story is as important as the characters. I enjoyed the descriptions of the fractured nature of Ephemera, and the various ways the characters dealt with it. I was quite impressed by how she managed to show that there were places in the world where people believably didn't even realize how broken the world was, despite how vital an aspect of day-to-day life this was for most of the lead characters. Awesome depth and complexity there.

Unfortunately, while disctinct and mostly likable, none of the characters were, for me, quite as vivid as the world they lived in. They had decent arc and development, and I enjoyed their relationships, both the old established ones as well as the new developing ones, but they didn't stick with me the same way the world itself did.

I will admit that the plot went in a slightly different direction than I was expecting, which is always enjoyable. All in all, a recommended read for anyone who enjoys some unique fantasy, but you might want to try a library or UBS to make sure the series fits personal preferences rather than buying it outright. (Unless you love Bishop's style from her previous books, since she does have a wonderful, dream-like vibrancy to her work.)

oops

2009-02-20T17:37:00.003-05:00

genre: journal

So, Wednesday was the February TBR 2009 challenge day. And I haven't posted anything this past month along my 'critical thinking skills' plans. I have been, shall we say, distracted. And not in any good way, my brain just wandered off and took my spine with it. *sighs* I have promised to get a couple projects done this weekend, however, so I hope to belatedly update my TBR-book next week and get back on track sometime in March. (Or maybe I'll just wait until April and make it into a b-day present?)
*sighs*
*is horribly depressed -- send B&J's coupons*
*snickers* ~_^

The Warlord's Mistress by Juliet Landon

2009-01-21T13:27:00.009-05:00

genre: TBR Challenge 2009 Review
January Challenge: Category Romance
My Pick: Harlequin Historical, 2006

So, I don't read a lot of category romance, cause I tried a couple in a row that were DNF/'throw-at-wall' type reads, and felt no need to subject myself to something that had been unpleasant too many times in a row. Also, if I want a quick read, I'm much more likely to enjoy YA fiction, or even a good manga/GN.

However, I'd randomly come across a comment on this one several months ago, and was intrigued by the setting. Roman occupied Britain, right at Hadrian's Wall! Neat! And it was, but not as neat as I'd been hoping.

As a long time reader of science fiction and fantasy, I am a strong believer in quality, in-depth world building. The setting is as much a character in a good book as the people. And while Landon had some good details and terminology, including interesting contrasts between the tribal lifestyle of the natives and the Roman lifestyle in the town of Coria, I never felt truly involved in this different world. It had trappings of the period, but I never felt the depth and breadth of it. I couldn't point to anything inaccurate, as I'm not an expert, but neither could I point to anything that illustrated the period well for me, and drew me into the character's world-view.

The part of the setting that I did quite enjoy was the contrast between the native tribes and the Romans and Romanized citizens. As the heroine is from a native tribe, one expected the Romans to be the evil enemy; some of the were, but as a whole they were just people, trying to do their best in a combat-oriented situation. Throughout the book, Dania's original tribe became just as dangerous to her as the Roman soldiers, so there were wondeful and varied shades of grey. The quality of the conflict between these cultures was spectacular, as neither was right nor wrong, and this complexity and humanity of viewpoint reflected well upon the conflict between the main characters.

Which brings us to the most important aspect of any romance, the relationship between the potential lovers. I didn't connect emotionally to either character, unfortunately, which is what I look for in a good romantic relationship. Dania Rhiannon, the heroine, had a remarkable beauty that was emphasized a few too many times for me. She was also supposed to be intelligent and savvy, but made several political mistakes, and no one else appeared to see the stupid. (In fact, many of them collaborated in the stupid, and just made it worse, primarily in terms of Dania's spying among the Roman soldiers.) The only part of her character that I felt was shown as well as it was told was the painful conflict she felt being pulled back and forth in her role between two cultures. And that aspect was spectacularly well done, enough so for me to still enjoy her character even if I didn't really feel for her.

As for her hero, Tribune Fabian Cornelisu Peregrinus was brusque and powerful, and even when Dania commented on his tenderness or compassion, I never felt I'd seen it. He still seemed too aggressive. The emphasis on his handsome and powerful physique never bothered me as much as Dania's beauty, because while every female seemed to enjoy his appearance, they weren't all panting after him the same way all the men were infatuated with Dania.

Now, I'll admit, I've been distracted with problems with my furnace at home, so I may simply have not allowed myself to get involved in the book. However, even if I had liked the characters more, I had a definite issue with the disparity of power between them.

As a native tribal member posing as a romanized citizen, Dania is in perpetual danger of discovery. As a Tribune in the Roman forces (he's in charge of all the forces along Hadrian's Wall, for those of you unfamiliar with ranks), Fabian has the power of life and death over Dania and her entire household. This meant, to me, that even if she hadn't wanted anything to do with him, Dania couldn't have said no to Fabian and his advances. She even tried to tell him no at the beginning, and was overwhelmed by his physicality and force of will. Which is usually a perfectly acceptable alpha-male trait, but it goes too far for me when he legally has that much power over the female and her household, and she has no recourse, either physical or legal, for fighting back.

Even if Dania had wanted to turn him down, and was willing to suffer his potential vengeance against herself, she never would have put her friends and family in that much danger. And he knows it, and forces her to be his Mistress when he discovers all her deep dark secrets. This heavy-handed move is done, in theory, because Fabian is trying to protect her from the Roman forces discovering her tribal sympathies and killing her, so I guess he means well. But enforcing his will on her and her household by threatening to kill them all never seemed to bother him, so I was bothered for him.

Dania's conflict through all this is the fact that she doesn't want to turn him down, but thinks she should, but can't, and all her compatriots are no help, as they think she should accept his advances and attempt to spy on him as his bed mate. (Why any of them think this obviously intelligent, disciplined military man would fall for that, I have no idea. Especially since she's somehow supposed to fool him without letting him see the brand her tribe gave her before letting her go off to 'evil' Roman lands on her own. I am annoyed when that many people in a book are that stupid.)

Despite this disparity, they fall in love, distract the Roman Emperor and local tribal Chief at just the right time to allow for some freedome of motion, forgive each other their deceits and disagreements, and leave Coria and the surrounding tribal lands to return to Fabian's native land of Gaul. And there's a bit of an epilogue that highlights the convenient HEA's of pretty much the entire surviving supporting cast as well. All in all, a bit shallow, but perfectly entertaining, and there was nothing in particular wrong with it besides my personal distate for this type of romantic power struggle.

Final Grade: C+

and I know I never discussed the plot, but I'm still figuring out a good review format for me, and it was already hella longer than I was planning, and I wasn't sure how to fit it in without too many more spoilers than I already gave away... I am no good at the spoiler free OR succinct review. I NEED PRACTICE *laughs*

apparently I am not interested in Emma and Finn today ...

2009-01-11T15:13:00.003-05:00

genre: freewrite
inspiration: Numb3rs prison break intro

I moved my tongue around my mouth, carefully feeling the edges of all my teeth. One, two, three, there we go . I found the tooth that wasn't, and waited, sucking slightly on the cool edges of the implant. I just had to hope no one noticed it was anything other than a regular filling during the strip search. And wasn't that just going to be fun?

I couldn't believe I'd agreed to letting myself get caught and get sent to jail. Even standing quietly between two guards with handcuffed hands didn't seem to be enough to convince me. I was sure someone would walk through that side door any minute, take off my cuffs, and walk me out of this awful place. I was ready to scream. Get them off, get me out, I'm not supposed to be here! But instead I kept sucking on my not-tooth, and figured it was perfectly normal being freaked out at getting processed into jail, so I shouldn't stand out too much. In fact, screaming was probably perfectly normal, but I wanted to attempt to hold onto my dignity for as long as possible. I was sure it wouldn't be long enough to satisfy me. Orange is not my color. Neither is grey. Not too fond of small spaces either, so there was really no way I was going to make it through the day.

At least I wasn't actually getting sent to prison. Lots more moving around in short-term jails, after all. That was not remotely cheering. Not enough difference between the two when you're standing in an institutional hallway waiting to get classified as a not-person. Why had I agreed to this? Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. I suddenly realized I was mouthing the words a bit too vigorously, rather than keeping them quietly inside my own head. Looks like the dignity was going to die before I even got started. That was a wonderfully comforting thought. Especially since no one was sure how long I was going to be stuck in here until something happened. There better be a miracle, and I get the word tonight, or this plan is never going to work. I'll go crazy and get stuck tied to a bed in the hospital otherwise.

One of the guards finally moved, and we all shuffled into the next room. Photos! Fingerprints! All my lovely comfy clothes got put in a plastic bag for my release date. I suppose, since I was supposed to be breaking out, that meant I'd never seen them again. I shouldn't have worn my favorite boots. I'd miss those boots. All that lovely creased black leather, the bright red laces for a touch of color. sigh After I escaped, I might just have to kill Dana for talking me into this. Hmm. After I made her buy me some new boots. I realized contemplating murder and the smell of new leather boots had finally calmed my incipient panic. I might be able to do this after all... just imagining various assorted ways to kill Dana might actually get me through the next several days. Just please God let this not stretch into weeks, and I might just survive. Especially if someone smuggled me in a shoe catalog.

Emma continues in a more normal tense ...

2009-01-10T11:47:00.004-05:00

genre: freewrite
inspiration: "Write Or Die" in 15 miutes!

Emma stared quietly outside the restaurant window, willing the sun to set fast, faster, fastest! But nothing happened. It kept hovering in the distance, dark and red, gilding the clouds in gold. Well, at least Ce-Ce picked a restaurant with a lovely view.

"Emma!"

"Sorry Celia" Emma sighed and let her eyes slowly return to her sister's face, with a quick flick down at the table to see if there was any food left. Nope. She'd already dumped all the sugar packets in her coffee and slugged that down too, so there wasn't even pretend imaginary food. Should have ordered an appetizer. No one notices how much you eat if it's all in appetizers and munchies.

"Why do you agree to come out with me if you're going to just be counting down the minutes until your monster wakes up?"

Emma swallowed, trying hard not to lose her temper. "He's not a monster," she felt the need to concentrate on her enunciation to avoid shouting, "we've been together for almost five years; you could at least pretend not to hate him, for my sake."

"It's precisely for your sake that I do hate him! You don't really think I didn't notice how thin you are? Or how you ate every crumb on both our plates and even snuck an extra order of bread sticks when I went to the bathroom? You have been slowly wasting away in front of me for years as that monster eats you alive, and you expect me to like him for you?" Celia's voice had been getting quieter and quieter as she attempted to contain her emotions, until finally she was leaning all the way across the table and hissing directly into her sister's face. "You may think he loves you, but he's just using you until you die on him, and then he'll pick someone else to devour."

"Of course he will." Emma counted the freckles on her sister's cheeks to avoid thinking too much about the words they were both saying. Losing her temper this late in the day could easily wake Finn up early, and he would be stuck at home worrying about her long before he could come out and check on her. "I don't expect him to be faithful after I'm dead... would you expect Carl to stay a widower forever if something happened to you? And we will love each other faithfully for as long as we're both alive. Can you say the same?" Emma enjoyed that last comment much more than she should have, and she felt the angry sting of self-righteous cruelty zing through her mind and back to her house. "Damn it, now you've made me wake him up. I'll be leaving now." Throwing a twenty on the table, she grabbed her purse and stalked out of the room, breathing deeply and placing each foot with care to avoid kicking anyone. As she calmed down, she commenced her mental prayer, wishing she could send words as easily down the mental link as emotions. I'm fine, I'm fine, my sister has always been good at pushing my buttons, we both know that, please don't worry about me.

present tense?!?

2009-01-05T14:28:00.004-05:00

genre: freewrite
inspiration: Love Me Dead

Emma turns her head slowly back and forth in front of the mirror, gauging the depth of the circles under her eyes and the darkness of the shadows under her cheekbones and chin. Not too bad today, certainly not disturbing enough to need to avoid her early dinner date with her sister. Gently loosening then removing her hair tie, she fluffs the curls down around her neck, disguising her narrow throat and the gaunt corners of her collarbones; there's no reason to provoke Celia's favorite argument. Emma carefully rises and slowly smooths her simple blue skirt. One final turn before the mirror confirms her judgement: thin, but nothing drastic enough to draw her sister's attention. Meticulously double-checking every hook on every curtain, and every lock on every door, Emma quietly slides out of the house and into the cab already waiting in the golden afternoon sun.

no great surprise ...

2009-01-05T13:07:00.003-05:00

genre: journal

As a 1930s wife, I am
Average

Take the test!

As a 1930s husband, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

I find this particularly amusing, since I honestly admitted in the second test that I am NOT a good provider... apparently I am mannerly enough it doesn't matter that my income would have us living in a cardboard box. *snickers*

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T21:59:00.004-05:00

genre: journal

I actually had a lovely time on my familial vacation. (Except for one afternoon, when I burst out crying in the car and totally freaked out my poor husband. Not even sure why I was crying. Slight headache, PMS, and a complete inability to get myself organized that day, are my best bet.)

First we visited the little dude's god-parents, and my mother even came over for dinner Sunday... she seems to inspire taco night at the GP's house, which is pretty much always enjoyable. We spent a ridiculous amount of money on boots for me and the little dude, and a pair of snow-pants with room-to-grow for him, but hopefully we'll find somewhere with snow to go play a few more times, so we get more than a week's worth of wear out of them. (And the boots will be fine in cold and mud, so they were probably worth it.)

We then went up to the in-laws, which was quite crowded but mostly fun, even with way too much Wii-time. Which was rather a surprise, that everywhere we stopped had them, when I never would've thought either household would've ever made the splurge. *shrugs* Shows how well I know people, neh? Though they successfully convinced me to trade in some of our old gaming stuff and get a Wii, some games, and Wii Fit with our tax return in a few months. (I should really sit down and figure out if I'm really ever going to replay some of my older ones for this trade-in. Any excuse to waste some time playing games! *grins*)

Back to Christmas however! We just popped over to the local church for Christmas Eve service, which was even the Sunday School / Children's service, which worked out well, as I didn't stand out nearly as much as usual when my little dude decided he didn't want to sit quietly and listen and pretend to sing along with all the songs. *sighs* Seriously, toddlers are exhausting. And he usually likes music, but not that night.

As for the rest of the visit, it was pretty quiet and uneventful. I didn't manage much niece/nephew time, but it was still pretty nice. I'd been looking forward to some story time with all three of the kids, since I used to really like that when we lived near them, but I never managed to settle down while we were there. Plus, my little dude only wanted to do what his cousins were doing, so he attempted to play video games non-stop. (My nephew is a bit shy, and is overly fond of the video games, so he was happy to have the excuse of playing with his little cousin as a way to avoid talking to all his obnoxious adult relatives and game.) However, the little dude thought the snow was the awesome, so we got out a bit. Let me just say, snow totally cheers me up. Too much fun, playing in the white stuff with little kids. Would've done even more of it, but my little dude's winter coat and mittens aren't really up to WI snow-levels, so we could only stay out for so long before he started getting pink arms and blue lips.

Really, everyone was pretty much well-behaved, and there's only so much with which to entertain little kids (and young adults) in a crowded house surrounded by snow in a little town in the middle of nowhere WI that doesn't have kids visiting often enough to have a good stash of toys and/or crafts before they all opened all their presents. And oh, we got some great presents. Cars, and books, and spiderman/venom pajamas, and coloring/sticker/activity books, and more cars, and a digital picture frame, and a giant popcorn tin I already mostly devoured single-handedly, and lovely scented girly stuff for me, and some goofy underwear/t-shirts the in-laws got for all four "boys" (sons and son-in-law), and helicopters, and play kitchen food, and did I mention cars? *laughs* Plus all the candy from Santa, of course. The little dude loves him some candy canes.

And then we drove too many hours back home, and DH had to work about a day and a half before he got a long weekend for the first. Happy New Year! And the extended family is frequently kinda goofy, and my toddler's been quite priceless in his speech lately, but I can't think of a single thing in particular to add to the story.

We've been pretty laid back, cause even low-key family vacations are strangely exhausting, and we're both attempting not to thing about how DH's going to be gone for over two weeks and he has to leave in about three days. *eek* I'd feel much better about it if I wasn't still having issues driving the car that's having issues with its transmission. We get to try and take it in tomorrow, plus give me a couple more crash courses to try and get me kinda comfortable driving so I can run errands and go out and about without having to deal with the bus while DH is gone. Plus there a few things he needs to pack for his class, and the food supplies are low from trying not too leave too much here when we were leaving for a week, so we have to get all those tomorrow too. Fun times, oh yeah. *rolls eyes* But that's just this weekend... then I get to try and figure out fun distractions for me and the little dude and our dog when we're the only ones at home. o_0;

I'm a dink. Or possibly secretly old-school blonde?

2008-12-16T17:28:00.003-05:00

genre: journal

So, in attempting to get a reviewing list/schedule set up, I realized that I have fifty-billion things to do this week, followed by being out of town for a family visit for a week, followed by preparing the DH for a TDY, and finishing a really asinine sounding english class, so I think the new me will be revealed in January. New Year's Resolutions, and all that, I guess. However, I will be attempting to post sporadically between now and then to warm up the writing muscles, and all.

Don't really have any particular news to share, besides the fact that I totally don't get potty training. I am not helping my poor little one at all, and the DH is no help, since his opinion on the matter is the fact that it'll be great for the checkbook when we don't have to buy diapers all the time. So... this will be a fun family visit, cause they'll all give me crap about the 3 year old who doesn't talk a lot and isn't completely potty trained. *sighs* Can I go back to living in a cave? No, wait, not good for the little dude.

pre-review thoughts, and head purging

2008-12-15T15:18:00.005-05:00

genre: journal

So, I'm mentally preparing myself for becoming a slightly more consistent writer. I used to love to write, the fun of different words appearing from under my fingertips onto a previously white screen. (I've almost always written directly onto the computer, so my myriad little journal books generally just get many many bits of lists, and then get lost behind a pile of books or magazines on a shelf or in a drawer somewhere.)

I've mostly decided to pick a weekly schedule, including book reviews, netflix picks, a free-write exercise, and at least one actual journal entry a week. The occasional special gaming and graphic novel review will hopefully pop up as well, but I don't play enough games and/or read enough GN's to make them regular contributions. (Graphic novels are expensive, and I have become addicted enough to Bioware's style that games without character interaction and long drawn-out stories are rather dull. Well, except for Fable... that's silly enough I've enjoyed replaying the first one, and have gotten partway through the second one. And I suppose I try puzzle type games semi-reguarly... maybe I should have a game review section too, I'll just have to emphasize it's a first-reaction review, since finishing them takes awhile. Monthly instead of weekly? I like that idea.)

I like to plan. So much so, that I frequently mentally plan things out for weeks, and then never actually follow through and do them. I'm a big bum, most of the time. I'm trying to turn this around, but I think I might need some professional/medical assistance. Anyone have any idea how to reliably screen mental health counselors to find one who isn't completely useless? (Cause I've seen several throughout my life, and only one was remotely helpful.) Ah well, something to keep plugging away at. Practice, practice, practice, and all that.

Though really, I am totally using this blog today to AVOID all the things I should be doing, which is a tad counterproductive. I think I'm in denial about my familial visitation next week. The DH really doesn't like visiting his family, and his angst is a tad contagious. Even though they're actually much less annoying in person than they are long distance, I still tense up in preparation for a visit. Well, except for the niece and nephew and their dad.... they're completely stress free. *laughs* And the only reason we're actually being good little children and visiting is because our visit is at the same time as theirs. Did that sentence make any sense outside of my head?

To clarify: my husband does not like visiting his mother and step-father, but his not-stupid brother (to differentiate him from the idiotic brother) and his kids will be visiting, and we like them. We'll also see his sister and her husband, who are perfectly acceptable, enjoyable relatives. The idiotic brother might be visiting as well, depending on if he got the job he wanted or not, but he's much easier to deal with when there are lots more people around. (Though the job thing might just be an excuse on his part, since he likes visiting their mom even less than my husband does.) There, did that clarify at all, or just make things muddier?

My mom is so much less stressful than DH's mom. Oh, I totally have an awesome tale to tell about my mother's visit over Thanksgiving, but as it is worth of a journal entry in and of itself, I'll wait til I'm not just spewing random head-clearing dreck. (Not that this is all dreck, but I am mostly trying to clear my brain out a bit so it will work when I start my new journal format tomorrow. Not that I'm physically changing anything, it will just be a new format in my head. And really, my whole world is simply my view from my head, so this is actually a big deal to me, if no one else. Urgh, almost wandered into philo class territory there. I miss school, it used to give me thinks to wonder about. And people who had to discuss them with me whether they wanted to or not, since that tended to be a class requirement. *evil laugh*sort-of* Math and science classes were also fun, even if there was no discussion, cause I had to use my brain to figure out my answers. I miss my brain, it used to do stuff beside make up excuses for avoiding housework.)

Favorite quotations:
"OF ALL THE THINGS I'VE LOST, I MISS MY MIND THE MOST" (?)
"NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST" (Tolkien)

you know, now I want to re-read me some Tolkien... but that's not something I think I need to review, so maybe it can wait until I've gotten my feet wet and I'm theoretically ahead of the writing curve. Does that ever actually happen, do people get ahead on their 'to do' lists?

Yes, I read romance, and like it. Give it a try. ^_~

2008-12-15T14:04:00.003-05:00

to schedule?

2008-12-15T13:51:00.003-05:00

So, the DH and I have mostly decided we want to have another kid within the next year. (Originally I'd wanted to have them much closer together in age, but I keep not getting my act together or losing much weight, so it hasn't happened yet.) To manage a second muchkin, however, I really do need to actually get my act together, and get on a bit of mental schedule. T. help get my brain back in gear, I'm going to start updating here again. (approx. attempt #15,026,402 *grr*argh*laugh*)

In order to cut off my inner edit-man, I'm going to start attmepting some reviews and free-writes, so even when I think my life is horrendously boring, I'll have something to babble about. Expect some growing pains, but hopefully I'll eventually feel a bit less overtly ludicrously angsty. And I might even manage some coherence. *crosses fingers and prays just a little bit*

I can pretend to be social, I guess ...

2008-11-07T09:29:00.003-05:00

So... so much for my resolution, neh? *le sigh* I have had trouble doing anything lately, even simple things like getting up in the morning and taking a shower before the kid gets up. (No offense to my toddler-boy, who I love dearly, but I do not trust him to wander about the house be himself for that long ... ) Grocery shopping, even though it simply requires both I and the little dude get dressed and walk across the parking lot, has been beyond my skill level this past month. I have lost all patience with all aspects of toddler-itis, and the little dude and I have started yelling matches, where we scream at each other until once of us cracks.

The only upside with my total lack of anger management skills, is that I have discovered I have my mother's temper when it comes to my kid. I have always been jealous of the fact that my mother can get mad, scream about it, and then feel much better. I, however, am generally possessed of a grudging sort of temper, and I'm embarrassed to ever say anything about anything that bothers me for some unknown reason, so it tends to fester. Except with the little dude, who pushes my buttons until we scream and then feel better. (Sometimes takes a bit longer for the little dude, at which point we put him in his room where he can safely holler and beat up on his Spiderman bop-bag until he feels better.)

The downside of my total lack of anger management skills is the fact that I spend a third of my time feeling like a horrible mother because we're not doing anything besides lazing around at home, and another third of my time feeling like a horrible mother cause I lose my temper every time he doesn't co-operate when we ARE trying to do something. Which only leaves a few hours a day that we're happily interacting without angst. *sighs again* Logically I know this isn't true, (or even a remotely accurate dissection of time), and that I'm not horrible, and it's just the depressive state of mind I'm in that makes me feel this way, but... it's still pretty wretched to live through, and my logic circuits have yet to successfully convince the rest of me.

And those last few paragraphs are why I can't write when I feel like this, cause writing about how wretched I feel just seems to make me feel more wretched. (And kinda whiny, which makes me extra cranky, cause I am no good at listening to whiny, even if it's in my own head.)

So, in an attempt to cheer myself up, I'm going to respond so some questions/comments from Gabby.

***

RANDOM #1: After a "Gentlemen's Club" billboard story, involving the name "Spearmint Rhino" (?!?) we come to our QUESTION: Anyone out there have similar experiences with oddly named establishments of any kind?

There was a club near our college called Beansnapper's, which I never understood at all. (My husband informs me now that it was apparently on land that used to be a bean farm, this being rural WI and all, but no one at school told me that when we lived there so I'm not sure I buy it... *shrugs*)

***

RANDOM #2: QUESTION: What/Who makes you feel old? ^_^

Well, my little brother having a kid of his own, and my husband making comments about not wanting to think about how he's almost hitting the big 3 - 0, since I'm only a year younger than him, and the fact that my only slightly older sister already did this, and that I just missed my 10 year high school reunion, all make me think we should have tried for a second kid a couple years ago, cause I'm going to be too old to chase after a second toddler soon! (Not that that comment means I am or am planning on being pregnant soon, as I know how people react to any random additional kid comments, it was just something that popped into my head regarding the fact that I feel old!)

***

HOME: QUESTION: What do you love and/or hate about the house/apartment/etc. that you live in?

I am tired of revolving door apartments, as I haven't stayed anywhere even for a full two years since I left home to go to school at 19. My husband and I don't even really unpack and hang pictures til it's been over a year since we feel so restless and temporary. We keep telling ourselves to do a total unpack next time we move so we feel more settled in, but we haven't managed it yet.

That said, I quite like the little extra 'dining room' nook we've got between the kitchen and living room here, cause it gives us a place to put the bowflex that's out of the way of our other stuff but not so out of the way that we don't use it. It used to be our 'study' before we got the bowflex, but we actually have a nice big bedroom, so now our computer desk is back there. Which is actually another good thing about this place. The bathroom is odd, as it's got an extra vanity in the master bedroom but the bathroom itself part is pretty small.

And despite all that nice stuff we almost moved this August because we've been unimpressed with the town we live in, and two closest towns (including the one the husband's office is actually in) are a bit more welcoming. However, anywhere worth moving to would've cost us more, not to mention the cost of moving itself, so we managed to reign ourselves in in favor of joining the Y and trying to get out to some community events in these other towns.

As an added bonus, we've finally started figuring out the local bus system, which means I don't have to worry about freaking out with the stick shift if I need to get out of the house. (And the central library is right on the lines that go by our house, so it's even an easy trip. Neat!)

***

LIFE: QUESTION: If you had to get a Christmas ornament to commemorate your year thus far, what would it be and why?

I really don't know how to answer this question. I have never really been holiday oriented (though I'm trying to adjust that thinking, cause I think holidays are great ways to celebrate and remind yourself to spend time in family rituals with the kid), and the last time I was excited about ornaments was when I was making them in grade school. But those were pretty cool ...

I think I'd want something hopeful, to remind me to stop being so hard on myself and what I think I've failed to accomplish so ... I think I need a snow angel or fairy, to remind me of all the things I used to love about winter and the holidays. Now I have an extra excuse to go card shopping, cause I need a new ornament too... *grins*

***

And there we go, now I have a smile. Even around my caffeine withdrawal headache. (I was considering trying to cut down a bit, and then used up all my coffee filters cause I thought I had another box, and now I can't make any full-strength coffee.) I think I'm going to go try some more tea.

freewrite exercises TBA

2008-10-08T15:00:00.003-04:00

So I started writing, and had nothing to say. So I tried a freewrite, and started editing about half-way through. I'm going to have to look up some really random topics/songs/quotations, set up my kitchen timer, and just start writing. I'll note the freewrite and the inspiration in the title when I get them started.

However, I suppose I should actually write about what we've been up to first ...

I quite like living near D.C. We can park at an end-of-the-Metro-line-station pretty easily, the trains are actually pretty well set up, and most of the attractions are free, so the only potentially expensive bit of visiting every few weeks is figuring out what to eat.

Two weeks ago, DH participated in the Ragnar Relay. (It was a last minute decision, since he was supposed to be at WLC, but someone dropped out, and he likes to help out.) He figures he ran just over 13 miles, since one of his teammates had to finish his last leg after he rolled his ankle out.

And then the next weekend he ran the Army-Ten-Miler. *laughs*

On Friday we went down to the Smithsonian to check out the Henson exhibit, since it was the last weekend, but the little dude was highly uncooperative, despite the fact that he usually like Muppets, so I didn't get to really look around as much as I'd been hoping. We walked a bit and enjoyed the lovely day, and the Washington Monument, and wondered for what they were setting a stage up next to the Mall. And then we took the Metro over to the expo for the ATM so DH could pick up his race packet.

Sunday was the race itself, and DH wanted to get there before the crowds, so we were out of the house by 0530 to catch the train. (Luckily metro had expanded routes and hours, so this was actually really easy and transfer-free.) I randomly saw a couple cousins who were there to run the race as well that morning, but I didn't manage to track them down again afterwards. Unfortunately, the little dude and I didn't even get to see DH finish, as we accidentally routed ourselves out of the finish line area and I wasn't sure I could get him to cooperate through the crowds a second time, especially as there's no good way to know exactly when someone's going to finish a 10-mile run, so we went back to the kids' zone that we'd designated our back-up meeting place.

The little dude mostly spent the 90 some minutes of daddy's race crawling through and 'driving' the Oshkosh truck that was on display, with the occasional break to run over to the Firetruck right next to it. *laughs* He was pretty happy, and I was ok with not doing anything as my brain never really recovered from waking up before 0430. He looked really cute in his sunglasses and plastic fireman's hat too, but he got really mad every time I tried to take out the camera, so I have no pictures to post.

And it must have been some sort of fire-awareness weekend, cause there was a truck at the PX on Monday too, which was even BETTER cause they had a dalmation we got to meet. Named Muttley. *grins* Which was particularly awesome since the little dude had told us when we left the house that we were going to see puppies that day. We had, of course, disagreed with him, saying we already had enough dogs, what with Bailey (our actual dog) and Naps (his favorite toy animal). We were wrong. I'm sure he enjoyed that almost as much as petting the puppy. Oh, and even though DH and I both need shoes, (cause he wore his out and we're trying to get me out running with him too), the only one who found any on our myriad shopping trips was of course the little guy who only sort-of needed them. But they're pretty spiffy black and blue shoes, and they were only $15, and I hate spending any more than that on little kid's shoes, since they usually only fit for about 6 months, if that.

I miss Ft. Lewis. We took it completely for granted, but the community was more active, the commissary and PX were much better, (even if the commissary was too small for Lewis, it at least had a good selection), and clothing sales was actually useful instead of a total waste of space. I am not fond of the east coast. There are too many people, who tend to be ruder, and lousy drivers. I even miss FIB's. At least they know how to merge, to balance out the double-parking and lack of turn signals. *grr*

Well, I'm not really talking about my week, I've descended into whining, so that's my cue to go. I'll try to do this again tomorrow again, and start my freewriting in the next few days too. Wish my luck!

a secret romantic

2008-10-02T14:02:00.000-04:00

I don't generally consider myself a romantic. The thought of writing my own vows is horrifying rather than exhilarating, I avoid anything classified as chick-lit or a chick-flick like the plague, I have never planned anything special for an anniversary, (mine or anyone else's), I routinely forget birthdays, I own no pretty candles, table/home decorations, or lingerie, and I don't even know what my husband's favorite meal for a romantic evening would be; though I vote for steak and cheesy potatoes, as he's a carnivore who adapted well to WI.

However, I love Jane Austen, (I own all her books and three different movie versions of Pride and Prejudice!), and am largely addicted to BioWare RPG's because the first one I ever played (Jade Empire) involved a romantic sub-plot to which I had an emotional response. My heart went "awww" ... *laughs* This was partly cause I'd been playing all night to reach it, (I get punchy at 3am), but partly because the characters were well enough done that it mattered to me.

I guess that means I believe in love, but not necessarily romance, and for some reason I find that sentence sad. I suppose if I re-write it as I believe in love, but feel no need for romance, it just makes me sound like an accountant. *laughs* Or maybe I just have a different definition of romance than the one that shows up in contemporary story-telling.

I tend to avoid contemporary romances. I find modern romances use embarrassment rather than character conflict for their comedy, and the plot or the characters frequently suffer from Too-Stupid-To-Live syndrome. Not that TSTL isn't a common failing in poorly written everything, but I seem to come across it every other time I try some new romance author or movie, which makes me less likely to try another one. Basically, my heart never goes "awww", and I frequently feel the need to squirm in embarrassment and/or annoyance.

In terms of love stories, in movies I prefer period romances, and in books I tend toward speculative fiction and the occasional suspense/mystery/thriller with a romantic sub-plot. (Isn't speculative a great word? Everything that is obviously not here and now fits in there, and I'll try just about any of it. Though a lot of it is excessively dark and morbid lately.) Some of the most emotionally satisfying relationships I've come across haven't been in "romances", but in mystery or fantasy or even YA books.

Which begs the question, what is modern romance, and why don't I like it? I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and I definitely believe that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts when it comes to a good relationship. For some reason, I don't get that 'greater whole' feeling from contemporaries. There's nothing that becoming part of that relationship seems to do to make things better for the people involved. And that doesn't mean I think finding the right person will fix your problems. It means I think when you're ready to deal with your problems, the right person will make it easier. Or something like that ...

I lose all my empathetic/sympathetic abilities when women, IRL or characters, think all they need is the perfect man to solve all their problems for them. This doesn't mean that your man can't solve your problems, or help you solve them yourself, however, which might be part of my problem. It's a difficult line to walk, to show that your couple is better because of the relationship without making it seem that it was some magical cure-all in and of itself.

But Jane Austen never did that. I know she's exceptional, and I should cut the rest of the writing world a little slack, but I'm tired of shallow romances. Even in a culture that largely required marriage in a successful woman, and even being unmarried herself, Austen wrote romances that didn't diminish who the individuals in the relationship were while still exalting the relationship itself. (Well, except maybe in Emma, since there's not that much of Mr. Knightley, and Emma really did need some looking after, but that could just be my personal prejudices, and it's been a while since I read it.)

It's also been awhile since I read Charlotte Bronte. Netflix has 8 or 9 movie versions of Jane Eyre listed, and I recently watched the version from the 80's with Timothy Dalton and quite enjoyed it. I had a few minor quibbles, mostly rather silly one, such as the fact that they cut my favorite line, and that Rochester and Jane are much too attractive, as is the case in every movie version. The only one that really impacts the story, however, is the fact that they keep telling me what a passionate woman Jane is, but with a few exceptions, they didn't really show it. She was a passionate child, which they did well, but I think they went too far trying to show how she developed grace and faith (and manners) to temper her passion growing up. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was off, but it was just slightly so, and thus made Rochester's passion a bit disconcerting, since it didn't seem to have met its match nearly as well as it does in the book. Still highly recommended though, if you enjoy long dramatic BBC productions.

Do I have a conclusion to all this rambling? I'm not sure. I like Jane Austen, Georgette Heyer, and some Nora Roberts. I quite enjoy the stories where her hero falls for the heroine's kids too... they make me all sniffly. *laughs* Jennifer Crusie makes me laugh, and I enjoy her storytelling immensely, but she's not someone I read for the romance and emotional reaction. I despise Wuthering Heights largely because I despise Heathcliff and Catherine and their willful descents into selfish perdition. It was exceptionally well written, but I didn't like anyone it it; they had passion, but they were mean about it. I never would've finished it if it hadn't been for a class, but easily the best paper I've ever managed to write was the one on that book. Emily Bronte had some serious writing chops. (Probably better than Charlotte's, for all I enjoy Jane Eyre more.)

I guess that's a pretty good lead into my belated conclusion. For me to feel romantic, I have to like the characters, and I have to respect who they become in the course of their relationship. This does not require candlelit dinners or 'sexy' music, but time spent together, which is something contemporary romances tend to speed through to get to the HEA. But no "happily ever after" is convincing without the time put into it before hand, and thus I think I'll stick to my BBC/A&E 5+ hour miniserieses. *laughs*

And completely off-topic in an entirely different direction than usual, go see the pink please. *giggles*

take !#(@$*-ing three (or four, I've lost track)

2008-09-30T13:29:00.006-04:00

So, not only has my edit-man squashed my brain again, but I've been even more scatter-brained than usual. I can't focus on my book, I've been staring at the same Netflix DVD for a week without watching it, I'll have to restart the two RPG's I was playing cause I'm too out of practice to not die at the next big-bad-guy, I've started and lost track of several entries here (see title), I was starting to try and reteach myself how to knit but have only managed to gather some balls of yarn, and I haven't even managed to set up a proper account for the little dude's batman game so he can save rather than playing the same level over and over. Not that he seems to mind, but I think he'd enjoy the extras in the villain levels and free-play mode if we could get him there.

I'm furiously angry at everything and nothing in particular, just cause I'm annoyed at my complete inability to do either the things I need to get done or even the time-wasting things I usually enjoy. I'm not even caught up on my blog/forum surfing, and seriously, what's more of a scatter-brained time sink than that? One of my favorite quotations is usually along the lines "of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most" but that's a bit too accurate lately.

I am so out of it I didn't want to go down to D.C. to see Neil Gaiman's signing at the National Book Festival. And I can usually do a pretty good imitation of a rabid 'squee'-ing 'glomp'-ing fangirl. But no, he was maybe an hour away on public transportation this weekend and I didn't go. I didn't even go to the children's storytime event at Border's, and that would've been in walking distance. (Long walk, but completely do-able.)

I used DH's last minute relay run as a total excuse to indulge my latent agoraphobic tendencies as I had no car and thus had to stay home. How pathetic is that? My husband is out running approximately 15 miles in three legs spread out over about 24 hours, and I don't even go catch a bus or walk a mile to look at BOOKS. And I usually love books even more than he likes running.

My whininess is exacerbating my anger levels, so I'm going to stop before I get uber cranky again. (I wish I could remember how to make an umlat... uber just doesn't look right without one.) I got myself in a much better mood in the middle of this post, since I had to leave to get the kid in bed for his nap, and I feel no desire to slide back down into my own personal temperamental hell.

The little dude had a raving toddler meltdown, and I didn't get mad, I just hung out with him in his room until he understood the concept of quiet time and kicked me out so he could play quietly instead of having me stick him back in bed again. It was pretty awesome, and we sang lots of songs while he was cooling down, and were both quite happy about it. This was a very nice change from the night a week or so ago when he didn't want to go to bed at all, and I completely lost my temper and yelled and manhandled him into his pajamas and then his bedroom and then had him crawl under his covers and tell me I was scary. I felt so horrible, and apologized for losing my temper and we stayed up later than usual telling stories until he seemed happy and I felt less guilty. And first thing in the morning he asked me if I'd 'picked up' my temper, which made me laugh and set things on a much better note the next day.

As an added bonus, he appears to have actually gone to sleep now, since there was no response when I knocked quietly. (The door is noisy when it opens, so I can't actually peak at him to see how he's doing.) So, I shall attempt to do something semi-productive, and if all else fails, I'll at least settle down to do just one thing. Probably a book, as a mental apology for screwing up my potential bibliophile weekend. *grins*

grrargh*

2008-09-23T09:28:00.003-04:00

My son is watching Playhouse Disney. It is about to start showing "My Friends Tigger & Pooh", which I find wrong for just about every reason in the world, so I'm glad the little guy co-operated with my attempt to distract him with Noggin-on-Demand. (His current favorite is 'Miss Spider'. It rotates from 'Miss Spider' to 'Blue's Clues' to 'Little Bear', with the occasional side-step into 'Max & Ruby'. I love Noggin. I find none of their little shows horrifying.)

For those of you not subjected to the insanity that is modern-day Disney programming, let me explain why I find this incarnation of Pooh evil. It's CGI, and they got rid of Owl and Christopher Robin in favor of Lumpy (who I'll admit I quite liked in the Heffalump Movie) and some random girl and her dog. It makes me nostalgic for the version of Pooh on when I was a kid, when all they did was add Gopher (who really got added in the original movie, after all) and periodically show all the characters in Christopher Robin's house instead of in the Hundred-Acre Wood. Really, all their new "cartoons" (all CGI) inspire in me are morning long mental variations on "why?" and "wtf?". Ok, that's not true. Some of them are perfectly acceptable, it just seems weird to voluntarily throw out the entire history/tradition of Disney in favor of oddly adapted and "modern" CGI versions of everything. Not that any of this is new or news; it just struck me again today while I was avoiding Darby, a.k.a. the tomboy chickie hanging out with Pooh and Tigger. (Back when it was first coming out, there was some hysterical whinging over at Neil Gaiman's journal Really, anything I've ever wanted to say, Neil Gaiman has probably said better. I guess I need more practice.)

Speaking of Mr. G, as the webgoblin puts it, I find it interesting that he is one of my favorite authors, but one of the (very) few who doesn't get "romantic" listed as part of his genre(s). Well, Tamora Pierce doesn't either, but that's cause all YA gets smushed together. And I was starting to organize a whole mental post on romance, and my "secret" romantic status, but the little guy keeps trying to climb in my lap, which makes typing very difficult, so I'm going to try again when he takes his nap.

blinks

2008-09-17T13:46:00.003-04:00

So for lunch, since the little dude eats slowly, I usually make his food, set him up, then make my food and join him. Today, we got to sitting at the table, he took one bite of his sandwich, then said "I'm tired" and asked to "tuck in bed". And he actually got down from the table and climbed into bed all on his own. How bizarro world is that? (And he really likes cheese sandwiches too, so it's not like he was just avoiding ucky healthy/different food like he sometimes does when I try something not mac&cheese or chicken nuggets for dinner.) And then he got mad when I wouldn't stay and keep giving him hugs and kisses for half an hour, but really, if you're tired and want to go to bed, you have to go to bed; which he did, since as soon as I shut the door he was quiet, and I'm assuming quickly fast asleep.

be warned, the following is excessively tangential and melodramatic, even for me

2008-09-17T11:18:00.007-04:00

So, I'm somehow out of dog food. Well, I know exactly how I'm out of dog food, I'm just surprised my brain totally failed to realize how little was left in the bin, even though every time I fed him I thought it was getting low and I should add it to the shopping list. Luckily, there was enough for breakfast, so now I just have to decide if I want to attempt to get the dog and the kid to cooperate on a shopping trip and walk to the pet store, or if I want to call my husband and ask him to swing by on his way home. (My brain just remembered that the pet store in walking distance doesn't carry the large chunk version of his food, which tends to discourage the overly speedy gulping that periodically makes him sick, so I guess I've decided to call my husband.)

Though, considering the walk has made me wonder if I can figure out a route to the library that won't totally kill me. Maybe if I wait until this afternoon, if it does turn out to be a bit above my paygrade, so to speak, I can hang out in the kid's room until DAH (the husband needed a shorter nickname to type out here) can pick me up. (Now I just need a nickname for the little dude. SuperHero Dude = SHD? *snickers* Wow, that's bad... ) And then I can try again next week until it doesn't kill me, and we can start going to story time every week. (Or I can just break down, actually stick to the budget for a couple months, and buy a d@#^ bicycle and stroller/trailer for the kid.)

But how can I stick to the budget when I've already pre-ordered Lego Batman and Fable II and my library frequently carries none of the books I'm looking for so I think I need an e-reader so I can buy some of them slightly cheaper than hardcopy versions? And thus also avoid the truly wretched titles and covers that they give to perfectly well written romances. Remember my mention yesterday (well, freakin' early this morning since I went to bed late) of my ease of embarrassment? I blush at EVERYTHING. Too hot, too cold, physically active, embarrassed, aroused, one drink of slightly alcoholic anything, tired, angry, sad, *insert any strong emotion here*, etc. Which is part of the reason I decided to try a protective restoring mask in an attempt to soothe my poor dry red easily irritated skin, but I haven't been organized enough to wash my face every day (how lame is that) so I haven't added it to my weekly regime and thus I have no idea if it will help or not.

Have I mentioned one of my many addictions is The Body Shop? Good values, impeccable ingredients, and it all feels/smells so nice. And they're having a thanks-for-being-a-member-of-our-discount-club 20% off day tomorrow; at the same time they're rolling out their new mineral make-up, which should be great for my previously mentioned crazy sensitive skin. But I just had my Body Shop shopping day this past weekend (the email telling me about the sale was in my account that night when I got home), so now I'm trying to remind myself that I need to be good and stick to budget. But then the other side of the brain mentions how it would help my 'get up and go' if I actually got up, got ready for the day, and put on real make-up to help myself feel like an actual productive adult member of society! And there were a couple things I forgot last weekend, and it'll be on SALE, and it's all so pretty ...

I am such a nerd. And I am way too fond of spending money, especially since I neither earn any nor manage any money-saving house-keeping economies. I think the fact that we have no social life must save more money than we think, cause everyone we know is amazed we're doing fine on one enlisted army person's salary.

(I so wish I was bringing in money though, cause it wouldn't have been quite so stupid to have moved to the apartment complex with a pool, which would have at least gotten me and the little dude out of the house on the really icky humid days this summer.)

I want a yard for the dog, and to be in walking distance of a library, and to find a play-group the little dude would like, and to not be so *expletive deleted* depressed all the time so I could get out and DO things. It would help get me out if I didn't cause myself to hyperventilate every time I try to drive the stick shift cause I suck at it and I hate being so bad at something which could potentially KILL ME AND MY KID if I bunny hop or kill the car in front of a particularly obtuse Maryland driver, and there are a lot of them, and we can't find a nice quiet backroad to practice on.

Seriously, everyone in this state drives well above the speed limit and hates their turn signals, but can't get up to speed to merge or get out of an intersection after a stop. WTF? What non-brain-damaged person on a really short on-ramp could think it was a good idea to attempt to join highway traffic at 30 mph? Without a turn signal no less, so you can't tell if they're slow cause they're getting off at the next exit or cause they're an idiot. It reminds me of a scene in Kornbluth's story The Marching Morons, (or was that Moron Marchers?), where the guy realizes that the cars of the future are much slower but desiged to make more 'really fast' noises so the general populace can be duped into thinking they're hot stuff without actually letting them race around like idiots and kill themselves. Which is kinda counterproductive actually, the way the story shows it, but discussing that would be a whole nother couple posts all on its own. Let's just say, I think Kornbluth would've loved the Darwin Awards.)

Back sort-of on something resembling topic, DAH needs the car for work, but I could perfectly easily drive him a couple days a week and thus have the car for errands if I could just calm my incipient agoraphobia (total exaggeration cause I'm cranky) and get out of the $#@! house. I think I might have to attempt the library walk this afternoon just to exhaust my nerves so I don't start throwing all the unsorted junk in my bedroom out of the window in a fit of angst. Must go see if I can find the walking/biking path map around here somewhere and figure out how far it really is ...

Death to the Edit-Man!

2008-09-17T01:28:00.008-04:00

I feel this strange need to descend into lines of abject apologies for my inability to type more than short sporadic blurbs for the past few weeks. My edit-man has returned in vicious force, as well as assorted demoralizing mental/lifestyle quirks, so I've been avoiding writing like the plague. Cause I'm sure I'd write something wretched, inane, and/or embarrassingly, personally, depressing.

Of course, I am very easily embarrassed, and part of the "not allowed to delete posts and start over" goal was to help loosen the stranglehold of my own thin-skinned perceptions, but this is obviously going to take some time and effort. And I've been too tired to devote the proper effort, so... no improvement lately. (I mentioned the week long headache in my last meager post, and I've been suffering from primarily depressed/psychosomatic fatigue for even longer, so I'm quite happy at the moment when I manage to take the little dude to the park rather than just running around the house, and wit (or even coherent sentences in public) is rather beyond my current aim.

I have, however, just received my first Netflix shipment, which includes the first disk of the animated Tick series ("SPOON!") and the newest version of Jane Austen's Persuasion, which I've never seen. For some reason, my brain smiles every time I think of that contrast, and hopefully watching them will help encourage said smile and kick me out of my funk.

I'm not quite sure what made me decide to look for the Tick (besides his general awesomeness), but I had an actual legitimate train of thought for looking up Austen. I recently saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which is quite possibly the loveliest movie I've seen in years. It's remarkable that it packs such a completely emotionally satisfying story in just over one day in England shortly before WWII. (So really, anyone who remotely enjoys period romance and comedy should see Miss Pettigrew. And then buy it. And then buy me a copy, since I haven't gotten around to it yet.) Seeing a romantic Ciaran Hinds made me think of the BBC version of Persuasion from many years ago, which inspired me to re-read the book, and add the new BBC/PBS version to my queue.

I love that word, queue. Completely off topic, it always reminds me of one of the toddler's picture books. It's designed to help build vocabulary, which short phrases on each page surrounded by pictures of things with their names under them. It is also obviously an americanized version of a British book, as it has some odd choices for descriptions and 'introductory' words for an American vocabulary; but what really makes it stand out is the grocery store page, which doesn't rhyme (unlike the rest) because they cut out 'queue' in favor of 'the line-up'. Which is not a phrase I have ever used or heard anyone use, but someone thought was LESS confusing than a proper word that exists in the U.S. but isn't used very often in comparison to England, and thus decided would confuse most 3-year-old's and/or whoever was reading to them. I find the mangling of the rhythm and rhyme very awkward to read, (especially since I do know the word queue), and tangle my tongue at least as often (if not more) on that page of that book than I usually do in an entire read of Fox in Socks. But even though I desperately want to swap it out, the kid actually likes figuring out letters here and there, so I'm trying to be as accurate in my reading as possible.

Except for the days I cannot stand his "What do People Do?" book one more time, and I try to think of ways to skim it so it won't take so long. I just out and out refused to read it tonight; we'd already made up one story and read two others, so I wasn't totally neglecting the boy. I don't even know why I can't stand that book. It's a perfectly harmless little Fisher Price book with cute pictures, but it's not a story, and is full of little captions I have to jump all over the page to read, and for some reason it makes me unhappy to have to slog through it again. And again, and again, and again, as the little dude tends to get stuck in reading ruts. I get much less sick of re-reading the same story off and on for two weeks if there's an actual story involved.

I mean, even the husband's action oriented video games put SOME story in between the missions, and the only video games I play that are more involved than mind teasers have to have a good story or I get bored and quit. (And I have to be able to get to the story part, thus my avoidance of Dark Cloud, as I've failed several times to get any better at it, and it has degraded into repeatedly slogging through the same dungeons in the hopes of not getting poisoned/injured/thirsty more than once so I can get all the way through with the limited supplies I'm allowed in the first village. I can't decide if I want to attempt Dark Cloud 2 or not, as it gets higher reviews, but if the gameplay is at all similar I'm not sure it's a skill-set I can develop.

Which is much the conclusion I've made watching the husband play The Force Unleashed tonight. (I think this may be the first game we've bought on the day it was released. Though we pre-ordered a couple at Gamestop for this fall, so it's not going to be the last.) It looks like fun, and he's been playing non-stop for, oh, over 6 (7?!) hours, so he's obviously enjoying it, but I think I'd be hitting myself with the explodable items instead of force flinging them at the enemies, and I'd certainly have fallen off edges and been killed by hordes of enemies many more times than I could count.

It seems pretty neat though, and the little bit of the story I've picked up is actually decent. Not that I have a tremendously high bar for Star Wars, considering the lack of good that was Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones; the other five live-action movies have redeeming features, however, and both KOTOR games had great stories, so I guess I expect better from the video games. (KotOR II had many flaws in execution, but it had a good story.) And I have no interest in the animated Clone Wars both because of an (in my opinion) unaesthetically pleasing style, and a disinclination to watch Lucas continue to butcher the back story of one of his own characters. (Anakin, as presented in the original trilogy, and as someone who could become Vader, bears no resemblance to the Anakin he created for the newer movies, and while I've had quite long conversations about this, I'll refrain from ranting right now.)

And I've been trying to stay up with the husband as he continues to play, but I think I have just reached the brain melting stage of tired, and I still have to walk the dog and give him his medicine, so I should go before I'm completely catatonic. (And I promised I'd do it, or I'd simply delegate to the one who still seems awake and alert.) Sweet dreams to me in about half an hour ...

eek! aka five days later ...

2008-09-14T14:55:00.002-04:00

So not too much going on this past week besides a really nasty head-ache I never could completely vanquish, and an ongoing case of toddler-itis. I swear, I'm surprised he hasn't started shrinking considering how little he seems to be eating and sleeping. However, he's not, so he must somehow be managing more than it feels like.

Finally feeling slightly better, despite ditching all my semi-productive plans for this weekend, so now I'm trying to catch up a bit. Oh, and a giant 'thank you' for the free trial referal from Gabby; part of my time wasting this week was playing with my queue and discovering the instant play feature, which Netflix didn't have the last time I had a membership several years ago.

Let's see... the little dude keeps saying and doing things I think are hysterical, and I attempt to make a mental note to right a 'joys of toddlers' instead of a 'toddler temper tantrum' post, but they never quite settle into the brian properly, so all I remember is being amused, but not quite at what. Or, the funny was in the tone of voice, which is hard to convey. I mean, my versions of toddler silliness is never as funny as the real thing, even face to face or with visual aids, so I'm not sure why I think I should be trying to write them out. Actually, yes I do. I greatly enjoy humor in my reading, and I keep wishing I could pull it off myself. But I can't. So ... now what?

And I just sneezed on my husband's laptop for the third time, so I think I should clean it off, put it away, and try this again on my clunky desktop so I don't get the nice computer gross. (Really, it's just an excuse to avoid my own brain dead typing, I think. *le sigh*)

I Hate My Library

2008-09-09T13:02:00.004-04:00

It gave me great pain to write that title. I have always been a tremendous fan of the library, and the children's librarian at the main branch where I grew up was a wonderful woman who I got to know pretty well. She organized a Newberry Medal reading group for the "regulars", and we read all the books the real committee read, and discussed them, and had a wonderful time. We even picked the same book as the real medal committee: Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. Well, I didn't pick it at the time, cause I'd squeezed one last book in before our final meeting, and it was a fascinating science fiction book that was different than anything else I'd read, so I voted for that. In retrospect, I can't remember the title or author, and while very good it wasn't the right kind of good, being rather, not obscure, but well, 'sideways' for a YA book. Really not sure how to say it, and if I could remember anything useful about it I'd probably try and hunt it down to read again just to see how it holds up to my blurry memory. Regardless, Number the Stars was great, and I'm glad it won. (In both groups.)

In fact, one of my first clues that the Mom's Club out here was not going to work out, (and boy is that a long obnoxious story), was overhearing several members commenting about the inconvenience of week-long loans for the videos/CDs/etc in the children's section, because who could get to the library once a week? Which may not sound that bad when I write it, since I frequently don't get there once a week due to car issues, but the tone of voice made it sound like they thought it was ridiculous to assume that anyone would want to put the library in their weekly schedule.

However, despite my abiding love for the library institution, (even worked at one for several years), I have serious issues with my local version of it. Not everything's difficult, since it has a lovely children's section and good children's activities. However, whoever does the buying is an idiot.

I like urban fantasy, sci-fi/fantasy, and romance. I particularly relish good paranormal and suspense/thriller romances (I like me some action), and I enjoy a good mystery. (Though I generally watch my mysteries in both procedural and cozy-style tv shows, I do also like to read them.) These are not unusual preferences judging by the responses many of the authors I read get online, and the impressions I get of bestseller lists. Besides which, I'll read almost any genre as long as it has good characters. (Though not usually straight fiction and/or chick-lit, cause I generally find real life boring. I want to escape into books, so if they're kinda-realistic and/or contemporary, they need really good relationships to pull me in. And it helps if they're funny.)

Which is really just to say, I don't consider myself picky. I find almost everything interesting. And yet, almost every time I find a review that sounds interesting, or I'm trying to hunt down an author I'd heard of once upon a time, or even just trying to track down some old favorites I never quite budgeted/scheduled into buying, I can't find them at the library.

I shamelessly blame Dear Author for the recent escalation of this problem, since I've become addicted to the website and their reviews. I especially blame their recent review of The Hunger Games, which sounds like something I'd really like, and then the library didn't have it, and the ILL form teased me by recognizing the title, and showing it as a listing in some obscure little MD district, and then saying it wasn't available. *GRR*ARGH* and *GRR*ARGH* again.

Many of the popular but newer Urban fantasy authors are nowhere to be found, or they only have book #2 in an ongoing series. The only reason I've read Nalini Singh is that my mother got a really good deal on an e-book set so she gave me her paperbacks. I've been interested in checking out authors like Jennifer Rardin, Carrie Vaughn, Jeaniene Frost, Shelly Laurenston, and Yasmine Galenorn, but they don't have enough of them! I'm sure there are more on the list, but that's just what I could remember from recent searches. And they have NO Patricia Briggs or C.E. Murphy at all. I just can't understand that even a little bit.

My attempt at a book budget was that I wasn't allowed to buy anything I hadn't read already and thus knew I couldn't live without. And how am I supposed to manage that if I can't check any of them out from the library?! (I'm also not supposed to buy any more books until we get another bookshelf, since we're overflowing a lot, but that one's easier to fudge.)

Even more established and mainstream authors are frequently missing. Almost no Robyn Carr, and there are huge gaps in the Marion Zimmer Bradley, Suzanne Brockmann, and Lois McMaster Bujold collections. They're missing several Donna Andrews, and I was having trouble tracking down some other mystery series I was interested in the other day, but I can't remember which one. They only have Jennifer Crusie's Fast Women in large print or downloadable audio book, (not even a physical audio book!), and I had to ILL half of Kay Hooper's Bishop/Special Crimes Unit books. (Which is really annoying with trilogies, since they never come in order when you're combining regular holds and ILL holds.)

The only reason I haven't gone completely crazy and started calling the directors to find out who's in charge of buying so I can yell at them is because they have a pretty good ILL form right on the website, so I can track some of the authors down to try. Unfortunately, I haven't been keeping a nice master list, so I can't even remember half of the ones I couldn't find, but I hope I figure it out eventually.

Really though, what is wrong with these people? I didn't think my tastes were that obscure, and I know paranormal and urban fantasy are huge, so why don't they have any?

On the upside, they have decent listings for Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Patricia Wrede, Patricia McKillip, Robin McKinley, and of course Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb.
And strangely enough, I just figured out that they do also have 20 volumes of the Fruits Basket manga, so I think I might forgive them. A little bit. Maybe.

Big Wheel

2008-09-07T22:52:00.002-04:00

I routinely fail anything resembling a willpower check. Especially if I see something neat for the kid. We had to go shopping because the husband needed razors, and we had a few other minor household things on our list ... and ended up buying fingerpaints and "The Original Big Wheel". Huge nostalgia moment for us adults, as we both had big wheels growing up, and had even been talking about them not that long ago. The little guy got very excited the second he saw the box, and now he calls it his motorcycle. *laughs* Very exciting!

I used to want to learn japanese so I could turn off the subtitles...

2008-09-06T22:20:00.006-04:00

I had a slightly throwaway comment yesterday about missing anime, so now I'm trying to figure out what about it I miss. I used to watch several different genres, though mostly lighter fantasy and sci-fi, and I must admit a fondness for Fruits Baskets and all things CLAMP. (Well, all things CLAMP that were out 5 - 10 years ago, since I'm rather out of date.) This would imply that while I enjoy the pretty, I do better with some emotional involvement. (And the occassional angst-fest such as the layers of awful happening to Kamui and Subaru in X. Which I never did manage to read all of, since they were still working on it last time I was trying to track it down. I wonder whatever happened to that?)

The first half of Silent Mobius series by Kia Asamiya is one of the best things I've ever seen... imaginative, spectacular characters, with an interesting plot and a high level of suspense. And then the second half throws it all out the window, wrecks most of the characters, and fails to resolve anything. It's especially painful since the beginning was SO good. In much the same way the 3rd X-Men movie is absolute crap, even though I've seen equally bad movies and managed to not mind them much, perhaps even enjoy some of the few redeeming characteristics. However, when it starts with so much more, to have it spiral downwards so far is almost traumatic. Not the good/cathartic trauma of horrible things happening in a good story because they fit with the plot and characters, but just a painful question of why and how did anyone not stop it from being that bad.

I always used to prefer subtitles, even if the dubs weren't that bad, simply because I enjoyed the feel of the japanese words, even though they didn't make any sense. (And, lets face it, lots of dubs are wretched. Even the husband won't watch the dub of Brotherhood of the Wolf despite his avowed dislike of 'reading' his movies.) Unfortunately, without being able to hear, I can't do anything else at the same time, and I get twitchy. (Or if I'm tired, I fall asleep.) And yet, it was never worth watching dubs for me just for the ability to multi-task. (Cause I can still fall asleep while watching movies to which I can listen. My husband makes fun of me for it all the time.)

Though it's usually listed as one of the 'classic' anime movies that introduced japanses animation to he western world (one of those things even non-anime fans has seen) I've never liked Akira. I don't think I ever really got it. While interesting, it's weird in ways my brain isn't, and the visuals seem... extreme enough to be awkward. My gateway anime was Sailormoon, and no matter how silly, I am still fond of it, and regret not buying the DVDs when I had the chance.

I mostly watch TV shows on DVD rather than movies, while my husband is the movie buff. I think I enjoy the longer story arc, and the increased chance of character development. Or at least greater depth of character description, even if they don't change or grow much, since a lot of anime is lacking in character development and yet I still like it. Long enough to give me good characters and plots, but usually contained enough it's not a chore to see it all. And even if it's a story similar to something I've seen elsewhere, the cultural differences continue to make it interesting. (Or sometimes incomprehensible, but then it's usually still pretty.)

I'm a fan of Ghost in the Shell, (one of those other classics, but one I feel like I actually understood), and I keep meaning to track down the tv series and watch it. They actually put the new Appleseed Ex Machina movie in the regular new releases at Blockbuster, and while I never got around to watching any of the old Appleseed shows, I've already established that I like Shirow, (sp?) so I think I'll get it next time we wander in. And then I think I'll take Gabby's advice and figure out what level of Netflix won't confuse my limited budgeting skills. (Oh, the montly payments for the vet expire in November... I'll buy myself Netflix for Christmas. *laughs*)

- - -

And in other news, the toddler was playing on the XBox earlier this week, and bought a trial Gold Membership in XBox Live. Didn't even realize it til I was checking the bank balance in regards to a vet bill and suddenly noticed an extra charge on the list. I have no idea when or how he managed this, but I know neither I nor my husband did it, so now I have to figure out the parental lock on the thing. (Plus make sure I delete my payment info.) I'm just glad he didn't manage to do anything more drastic, like max out my MSN points. I prefer my life lessons not be too expensive, and under $10 is something I can handle. Though I haven't told the husband yet, since he'll make fun of me.

I need to work on my endings.

2008-09-05T23:24:00.003-04:00

So I've barely started my new writing plan, and I'm already two days behind. *sighs* Does that mean I need to write three entries tomorrow? Or just try and double up at least once a week, since I'm sure I'm gonna miss some more somewhere?

Well, the point of this was to improve my mental health, not stress about another deadline, so here's to the continuing death of my mental edit man so I keep coming back.

I really need to get some more music in my phone (mp3 player) to help get me in the mood. I briefly joined a writing blog once, and my very best vignette was written when I just sat down and listened and responded to what I was hearing. I was listening to my husband's video game, but he was at a part with a very poignant soundtrack and not any sound effects, since he was rather stuck and just wandering trying to find something.

Charlaine Harris recently posted about her confusion in regards to the common question of what she listens to when she writes, and I have to admit I generally agree with her. I never really understood the question, even though it was a field to enter in the aforementioned blog to which I attempted to contribute. It never would've entered my mind as something to ask, or something to think and/or plan about for my own writing. I remember a conversation with my sister once, where she was talking about music, and I just sort of sat there and nodded, because I had nothing to contribute, cause I never really paid attention to whatever was playing in the background. She could not get her mind around my lack of passion, or even really any opinion, about music. Unless it was a particular favorite, or something I actively disliked, but there's not a lot of those. Or at least, I didn't think there were.

Only, now I miss some of the music I used to listen to when I worked at Mimosa before it was sold and moved, and maybe I should try and find some and start listening to it again. It did good things to my brain, and had no english words to distract me. Once upon a time when I used to write a lot of papers for school, I always had to find instrumental music to listen to, cause words would mess me up. Street jazz and swing are good, cause they tend not to be quite so relaxing. Music that is clearly not western European is good as well, because the different context of the melody and tonal qualities is intriguing to my brain rather than sleep-inducing. Anime soundtracks are good, because even when the songs are in english, they're not actually regular english, they're japlish. Or bits of english in a japanese accent surrounded by japanese.

Seriously, now I miss anime. A friend of mine in college gave me a bumper-sticker stating "Anime: Drugs would be Cheaper", (which was extra especially funny since he tended to be broke from buying pot), but that wasn't tremendously true at the time, since I knew people who knew people who'd rent, lend, send, borrow, etc assorted anime, so very few of us spent money on it, we just passed it around.

However, since I've dropped out of school I've gotten out of the habit, and now have no idea what's any good, what's possible to get all of without breaking the bank, or even what I want to see next anyway. (And even if I found a good place to rent from that wasn't too expensive, watching it also increases the urge to buy manga, which is a lot harder to rent, since libraries have vastly varying policies regarding graphic novel and manga collections.)

And the dog is desperately jumping at the front door in the vain wish I'll stand up and walk him; as he's managed to land himself and/or his favorite hard chew-toy on my foot a couple times tonight, so I've been ignoring him in the hopes my foot will stop hurting, but I think I need to bite the bullet and limp around outside for a bit.

oops (note to self: don't put something in the title that I haven't actually managed to do yet)

2008-09-03T09:12:00.005-04:00

So, I didn't actually write two posts yesterday. I shamelessly blame my mother, because the books she sent me in the mail arrived yesterday, and Patricia Briggs and Nalini Singh write so much better than I do that when the choice came between my own words and theirs... they won. *grins*

Only, now I've read all the in-print Patricia Briggs books out there, and have nothing to look forward to for awhile. Though I think I missed a short story out there somewhere; I'll have to go take a look.

The Nalini Singh book will take longer to devour, since it's been awhile since I read the other Psy-Changeling books, and I actually own them all, so I'm going to re-read them first.

(Please skip the next paragraph. I'm crabby and feel the need to whine, which while cathartic isn't particularly enjoyable to read)

I feel crappy! I can't get anything done, my head hurts, I'm tired all the time, Stephen refuses to get dressed without a fight that requires way too much effort, and even though it's nice outside we get no air circulation, so in here it's kinda gross. The dog keeps barking at everyone who walks by, and I'm going completely stir-crazy in the house, but I have no where else to go and nothing else to do! I haven't managed to play a single board game with an adult since I visited the little dude's godmother, I'm so depressed I can't even focus on any of the RPG's, and I hate my period. Especially since there's no B&J's in the house! Wait, I might still have some chocolate sauce in the back of the cupboard I never used...

/whine

Anywho, my brain keeps skittering in three or four different directions at a time, and I'm trying to track down something fun for me and Stephen to do that would require us to get out and meet some people, cause we're kinda hermity at the moment. So, I'll try this again later.

current events
reading: Cry Wolf (has anyone gathered I'm a huge Patricia Briggs fan girl yet?)
watching: Little Bear(Maurice Sendak's pretty cool too.)
playing: Cars demo (the little dude doesn't mind playing the same level over and over)
plotting: how to convince the toddler to put on real clothes instead of wearing his Superman pajamas all day

working on another double post day!

2008-09-02T07:14:00.003-04:00

So, yesterday I didn't write in here for the exact opposite reason I missed on Friday. Instead of being too busy, I did absolutely nothing all day besides go out to eat for dinner. Yummy. Anywho, since I wasn't actually doing anything, I never had anything to talk about, and after the little dude was in bed, the husband was doing army-work that required the computer, so I couldn't write anything.

A sad fact of my life is that I am not a morning person. I have much happier and more productive days if I get up and get ready to go right away, but I cannot drag my arse out of bed unless I have something scheduled to do first thing in the morning. The only currently successfuly quirk around this that I have found is to set aside my husband's work clothes for the day so I have to get up and iron them before he can get dressed and leave. Wrinkly clothing in the army is sufficiently potentially embarrassing that I actually move. My own to-do list never quite seems to cut it.

This was always true in H.S. as well. No matter how badly I was doing in regards to school work, depression, and panic attacks, I'd still go if I had a group project (cause I didn't want to mess anyone else's grades up as much as my own), and I always went to work in the evening.

Luckily no one I worked with had a similar schedule, so no one called me out on being too sick for school but still ok to shelve books in the afternoon. Except for Kate, but she wasn't about to turn me in and get me in trouble, since she lived vicariously through everyone else's mini-rebellions. She had a psycho-level control freak of a mother. Well, still does, but now that she's an adult and married and has a professional job and everything her mother's calmed down a bit. Kate's mother is probably asking her when she can expect grandchildren every other conversation, but that's normal psycho-mother behavior, and I would think much easier to handle.

Surprisingly enough, no one in my family ever did that. My mother's not really pro-baby (and she is environmentally aware so she tends to support zero-population growth theories), and I think Dave's family probably thought I was a lost cause? Not sure about that one, but they never really pushed any baby ideas on us.

I was absolutely terrified about having a baby. To begin with, I'd never been around kids growing up, I'd never even baby-sat in my entire life until I met Dave's god-son. (And that wasn't until he was almost 2, since his family had lived in Maryland for awhile when we were still in Wisconsin.) Now I'm his adopted god-mother as well, and we have a pretty good time together. *grins*

The second terror-inducing level of having a kid was the actual having a kid part. My mother had horrible complications for both her pregnancies, and I was convinced I was in for more of the same. And then I had pretty much the most uneventful, easiest pregnancy ever. No complications, no drugs, short labor. I'd go in for my pre-natal exam every month, the doctor would poke/prod/listen/measure whatever needed checking for that particular visit, and congratulate me for being right on target. And I'd laugh and tell him it was all the baby's doing, cause I had very little to do with it. I got a slight case of hemerrhoids, and had to have an episiotomy, and that was it. The nurse on duty when I came into the hospital even joked that I was a natural, and ought to have ten. I'd been working part-time at the hospital, and attended the child-birth class she ran, so we were close enough that that was funny, even at the time. *laughs* Not that we're planning on more than two. As Dave put it once, he has two hands, one for each kid, and there's no need for more than that. Plus, you know, raised by a hippie mother who taught me things like 'zero-population growth'.

I'd really wanted to be having a second kid by now, but I haven't quite managed to settle down properly after both our cross-country moves, and I'd wanted to get in slightly better shape before subjecting myself to another pregnancy, but I think at this point I just need to bite the bullet and make the doctor's appointment. (Need my IUD removed before anything will happen, after all.) Though, a pregnancy out here will make me horribly nostalgic for WI, cause my doctor here is no where near as awesome as the one I had when the little dude was born. *sighs* I miss Dr. Miller. I am completely jealous of Stephen's godmother, cause she and her boys still get to go see him. *laughs* However, I should give my doctor-lady another chance. She's perfectly competent; maybe she'll improve with further reflection.

I find it odd that, as shy as I usually am in regards to my body, I have no trouble with male doctors. In fact, especially after the pregnancy, (cause all sorts of people see you in all sorts of naked during labor), I find it odd to imagine any woman with kids who would no longer be comfortable with a male doctor. I'm sure they exist, but I can't imagine it. (Well, unless he was a crappy doctor, but then the problem is his skills, not his gender.) Not that this means I hold anything against women doctors, I'm just slightly underwhelmed by my current lady doctor. My regular doctors when I was a teenager/young woman (pre-marriage) were both female. Though actually, not doctors. They were a nurse practitioner (general) and a physician's assistant (gyn), and even after not having insurance and thus not seeing either of them for a couple years, they both remembered me when I came back. They were awesome.

And none of this is remotely interesting even to type about, so I can't imagine the lack of spark to anyone still trying to read. I promised I'd write everyday, but I said nothing about the quality of writing, after all. *laughs*

apologies in advance for fractured sentences

2008-08-31T21:12:00.007-04:00

It's a very quiet evening now. The husband stayed up over-night playing his video game, so he has finally crashed, and the little dude actually suggested going to bed all on his own. Even the dog's in bed, since he kept barking out the windows earlier.

Not that my son is sleeping, despite requesting bed-time all on his own, and choosing his bedtime music himself, and getting 4 stories. (Though my Grover voice for The Monster at the End of this Book was highly questionable.) Apparently his favorite stuffed animal, Naps, who I always thought was a dog, is being a Polar Bear tonight. (Naps is white, after all, with a big black nose.) And last time I wanderd by his door, it sounded like he was singing along with Going to the Zoo.

When I started getting ready for dinner tonight, he came running through the kitchen, grabbed my hands, and explained that he wasn't hungry yet. He didn't want to stop playing to eat, especially since I can't play with him while I'm cooking. So we settled on quick and easy grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Of course, once it was done and he sat down, he scarfed his sandwich in record time. Well, except for pausing to count his fingers several times. He likes numbers, but he hasn't quite figured out his teens yet. (There are usually several fourteens.) He also decided he didn't want to drink his milk without a straw, and then decided he only wanted to drink half of it anyways. Dinner with a toddler always takes at least twice as long as one without. (The dog doesn't help either, since Bailey's head is at just the same height as the kid's lap, where food tends to fall... )

Completely off topic, (if I ever had one), Murder, She Wrote is on, and I'm watching it, and enjoying myself hugely, for no apparent reason. Nostalgia? It's one of the few traditional cozy mystery TV shows that, though not deep, hit the lead character well enough that the quality of the mystery of the week didn't really matter. And it's nice seeing actual adults on a TV show rather than lots of angsty twenty-somethings. Even as a twenty-something myself, I do get tired of the excessively young faces in TV and movies.

I remember realizing when I went to college that I missed interacting with older adults. As an only child to a single-parent, I grew up spending time with my mother and her friends, not just my peers, and I think it provides a balance to one's perspective that most teenagers lack. I remember my mother commenting once that every teenager should know an adult not his/her parents that s/he can talk to to help get through, well, being a teenager. Cause there are generally things you don't want your parents knowing, neh?

Seriously, anyone who wonders at fraternity (and other college-age) behavior should simply consider this lack. We take a large group of highly impressionable, emotional, immature adults, and stick them all together without any mature adult interaction, and then wonder why they turn stupid?

and now it's today ...

2008-08-30T22:52:00.003-04:00

We didn't really do anything today. Recovery from the late night yesterday and all. We watched some TV, played the new board game, went to GameStop to trade in some old games, pre-ordered Lego: Batman and Fable II, and had Stouffer's Mac&Cheese for dinner.

Our salad had gone kinda slimey though, so we just had some carrots. Only veggie I had in the fridge. I really need to go shopping tomorrow. MOM's it is, as I am not going near the commissary on a payday weekend. In my admittedly very limited experience, commissaries have at least twice the customer's they're designed for, and they all shop on the same 2 payday weekends a month. It's wretched. Add to that a holiday weekend, and I am all for avoiding post. (Besides, post here is not nearly as nice for shopping as Ft. Lewis. I totally took Ft. Lewis for granted while we were out there.)

Speaking of taking WA for granted, I even miss Dave's family, but while I liked hanging out with them, I don't have a clue what to say on the phone with them, so I never call. I miss my niece and nephew. And my brother-in-law. And his Wii. *winks*

I actually had a conversation in GameStop today about the addictive qualities of even simply playing Tennis on the Wii. Bowling was our game of choice in WA though. Easiest to play with 4 adults who sometimes had to be distracted to help with 3 children. *laughs* The little dude is particularly fond of the Super Smash Bros and Mario Kart, though he's not very good at either.

hmm, my random stream of consciousness has stopped flowing. Still tired.

current events
reading: The Graveyard Shift
watching: the boys like Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
playing: Azada: Ancient Magic
plotting: I want to go to a Writer's Police Academy... *laughs*

pretend this entry is dated yesterday, please

2008-08-30T09:09:00.004-04:00

So, yesterday we went to Sesame Place, which was great fun. However, it's rather a long trip, requiring both an early morning and a late night, so I didn't sit down at the computer at all.

The little one was wonderfully well behaved, minus a few small flare-ups from over-stimulation and lack of sleep. (No naps at theme parks, after all.) Part of what I enjoy about Sesame Place over more adult parks like Six Flags is the fact that anyone who goes there is obviously planning for fun for the kids first, so you don't see nearly as many obnoxious and/or neglected children running around while their adults attempt to have fun doing their own thing. Besides, seeing Elmo's World! Live! is neat.

And the little dude saw Zoe, Grover, Bert and Ernie, and got to meet Oscar. His favorite was meeting Elmo, who gave him a giant hug and picked him up and sent his feet swinging. It was awesome. (Unfortunately, our picture of this didn't turn out, which was pretty sad.) It was raining off and on all afternoon, but never too hard, so all it did was cut down on the crowds, cool things down, and keep Stephen from fussing about not going back to the water park section. All good, actually. (And the husband let me snitch his hat to save my glasses from rain spatter so I could actually see.)

We even refrained from too much consumer therapy, which is suprisingly tricky when surrounded by nostalgia inducing Sesame products. (I really want an Oscar shirt.) Instead, we simply got a board game and a mug for the little guy. (It's got Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Oscar, and even his own name on it! He was pretty excited.) Oh, and the collectible plate and cup that comes with the kid's meal. So, with last year too, he now has an Elmo plate and a Cookie Monster bowl. Makes the cost of a theme park meal much less annoying.

So, a highly recommended trip for anyone with kids 36" or more, cause then they can ride everything (with a responsible adult) except a couple slides that you can't double-up on. Oh, and if you like roller coasters your little one has to be at least 3 to ride the Vapor Trail. (Super Grover! That's the only toy we were really hoping to find, since the little dude really likes the superheroes. Didn't manage it though ...) However, there is still a lot of stuff for even littler kids (it is Sesame, after all) but I saw many little-bitty ones that didn't really like any of it except the water playlands. So, under 36" would depend a lot on your kid, and if s/he likes shows, and can behave him/herself in large groups running through sprinklers and ponds. *grins*

current events
reading: Cockatiels at Seven(the website is a bit out of date, but all of Donna Andrew's books are great)
watching: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(the 1987 version on DVD)
playing: Elmo's Color Match and Memory Game
plotting: finding a PBS kids schedule that's actually on when the little dude's awake

on writing, sort-of

2008-08-28T10:20:00.005-04:00

I came across a con the other day that I thought sounded intriguing, and I left the window open when I wandered away from the computer to do something else. (I do that a lot, I'm very scatter-brained about everything.) When the husband sat down to use said 'puter, he made a comment vaguely similar to "are you actually going to do any writing? cause you keep looking it up but not doing anything; kinda like me and running ..." (Which if remotely sounds snarky in translation, it wasn't.)

So, here's my brand new writing plan.
Step 1: Write in blog every day.
Step 2: Research Norse mythology and police procedure.
Step 3: Write were-thriller I have floating about in my head for NaNo this year.
Step 4: Buy every Patricia Briggs book in existence as reward if I actually complete said novel this year. Or at least the latest Mercy Thompson and Alpha and Omega *evil happy grin*

And if that all works, of course I'll repeat as necessary, and start looking for a writing group.

current events
reading: Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn
playing: debating which Nancy Drew to buy ... I'm feeling nostalgic about my Carolyn Keene reading binges 15 years ago
plotting: a Thane instead of an Alpha?

Ok, the list at the bottom needs a little work, but at least I'm trying.

2008-08-27T15:17:00.004-04:00

I figured out today why I've been feeling particularly grunky lately. (grumpy/yucky/funky/insert slightly negative word of choice)
I've been eating cookies like potato chips. They're little cookies, but still... And they're not very good, or at least not good enough to warrant that much snarfing, and I'm not quite sure why this started, but now I've been grabbing the container and munching on them while I'm reading or blogging or attempting to beat Bismarck (sp?) and Cleopatra in Civ.

I had issues with my financial victory yesterday. It took me until 2024 A.D.! I just could not get a focused strategy at the beginning. And despite attempting an economic victory, this was the game I finally got one (combat) unit up to 20 successful battles, as opposed to the 2 previous actual domination (military) victories.

I truly love that game to pieces though, despite my appalling lack of skill. I'm the same way with Risk and Settler of Cataan. (Never tried Starfarer's, or whatever it's called, but I'm sure I'd be just as bad.) I really need to find some (board) gamer friends, cause it is NOT the husband's cup of tea. BioWare should totally write a story where the combat's all turn-based strategy like Risk. I would never turn the XBox off again. *evil evil laugh*

/gamer girl tangent

current events
reading: The Fabulous Lorraine and Friends
playing: Chicken Invaders 2(toddler's FAVORITE)
plotting: how to convince my husband I watched the movie I rented even though I never got around to sitting down with it and it's due back today

i am so disorganized

2008-08-27T00:13:00.003-04:00

I wanted to do something quickly before I went to bed, and now I'm staring blankly at the screen trying to remember, cause I know if I don't do it now it might be days before my brain figures it out again. Didn't work. Sometimes blank white space scares the mind in functioning, but not tonight. Sweet dreams all!

right before the buzzer

2008-08-26T22:06:00.000-04:00

So, I almost didn't sit down to write this today. And I certainly don't feel like I have anything interesting to say. Or even uninteresting but potentially time wasting. I frequently refrain from calling or emailing friends and family I've lost touch with because I don't feel like I have anything important to say, so why pick up the phone or send an almost blank email?

However, I have no trouble calling my mother if I haven't talked to her in over a week, whether I have any news or not. I have literally started conversations with "nothing to talk about, just wanted check in and say Hi". I can get away with this largely because we will generally always find something to talk about, but also because I am completely comfortable being a moron in front of my mother. She will always forgive me, and try and laugh really quietly if it's something I'm sensitive about. ~_o

I'm not sure why I can't do that with anyone else. It's as if I feel some need to perform, and be witty or at least relatively intelligent and astute, rather than the perpetual state of brain-dead I usually feel like I am suffering from. I frequently comment that I should go back to school, if only so I had something to do with my brain. The alternate comment to this one is that it's been so long since I've used it, it's all long since turned to goo and leaked out my ears. Who, me, brain, what?

Actually conversing with people helps this however, so it's one of those vicious cycle / self-fulfilling prophecy situations. I need to get myself a list of phone buddies, and start calling someone every day when I take Stephen to the park. Then if I'm really brain-dead, I can just leave to play with the kid. (And everyone I know would be pretty understanding about my having to leave if he was being legitimately high-maintenance.)

Yes, I'm the kind of mother who uses my toddler as an excuse for anything I don't want to do. I'm horrible. But there's gotta be some perks to having a 39" semi-attached little dude with you all the time. I call him dude. Usually little dude, but he'll respond to just dude. Don't know why, started several months ago, can't stop. It is my word of choice that my brain is stuck on, along with 'lame'. I miss the days when my brain would get stuck on words like 'convoluted', and put them into all my sentences. That made me feel like there were some cells left that avoided the ear-drainage. No more. *sighs*

*snickers* Ok, while I'm really good at feeling sorry for myself in my head, as soon as I try to write it out, it either sounds pathetic, or really silly. I prefer the silly.

Oh, and I just had a great idea for a tagline section for this... I should wander off and see if I remember how to make such things. *waves*

on writing

2008-08-24T17:27:00.000-04:00

Way back in HS, (the 10th reunion of which I missed last weekend), I took a drama class. While it counted as my required public speaking course, (not that I should've needed that, what with 3 years on the forensics team, but I digress), we also had a daily journal assignment. Every day our teacher would present us with a topic, or a word, or a picture, and we had to write about it, anything we wanted, (within pg-13 HS student levels), and then she'd ask a couple people to volunteer and read what they had written. It was great fun.

The only two I remember in particular were the color red, for which I made a vampire story, where someone, well, bit back, and woke up the next night no longer quite human; the second involved a picture of a man and his hound dog, which I turned into a man reminiscing (sp?) about it being one of the few happy times growing up, of his father and his dog. I remember the teacher commenting that she'd gone out of her way to find a happy picture, so we'd be less grim, and I totally went the other way. Angsty students and all, I'm sure she got a little tired of our pseudo - dark urges. (Well, statistically speaking, some of the people in my class probably really did have some dark and horrible stuff going on, but they hid it pretty well, and the rest of us were typically melodramatic high schoolers.)

Which, actually, makes me wonder a bit about the people I went to high school with, and how determined we all were to pretend everything was ok while we were probably all individually convinced our lives were wretched and painful. It makes me wonder who really had things they felt they needed to hide. Because horrible things really do happen to lots of people, no matter how safe and insulated we think we are. And sometimes we never see it, and sometimes I think we should.

For some reason, this makes me think of a bit of a controversy I ran across online about a rape scene at the end of a book by one of my favorite authors. A lot of people didn't like it, claiming it was a weak plot device, and an overused one at that, or too unpleasant for the main character, or various other (some quite valid) complaints. I totally disagree with all of them, and really enjoyed reading the author's response to all this, which basically came down to the fact that it fit the character of the villain and the needs of the story, and it would have been worse to have some sort of last-minute rescue, largely because in real life, people don't get rescued. I thought she wrote it very well, and did not gloss over the traumatic effects in the same way some stories do, and I look forward to seeing her continue to show how the MC comes to terms with it and moves on with her life.

A large part of the author's position centered around her belief that in actual violent/tense situations, people get raped, and to avoid that in her stories because it makes people uncomfortable cheapens what real rape/abuse victims go through in our world. And she writes various forms of fantasy, so she's not required by most people's measures to be 'realistic'. But, there a difference between being realistic and being true to the characters, stories, and worlds one writes about. The first can be optional, but the second, never.

I don't feel that I have the same depth of story in me as this particular author, but reading about how she writes (and various other authors I enjoy reading about online) has made me realize yet again how much I miss it. So...

Practice, practice, practice take 2.

adult sanity in the face of toddler-hood

2008-08-24T08:39:00.000-04:00

Most kids movies have 'in-jokes' that are designed to go over the intended audience's head, and amuse their parents. As an example from my 3-year-old's favorite movie, Over the Hedge, Ozzie the opossum (sp?) has a pretending-to-die-scene where he's distracting the humans from the other animals' food stealing, and starts quoting Orson Welles. ("Rosebud ... ") Name me one five-year-old who's seen Citizen Kane. On the other hand, name me one adult who doesn't recognize the quote even if, like me, they've never actually seen the movie.

Sometimes, the movie IS just in-jokes and adult themes, and you find reviewers attempting to convince people that, despite the animation, (or goofy characters, or silly setting, or *insert traditional kid aspect of movie here*), this is not a movie for little children. Shrek is much funnier if you're older, even with all the gross-ogre gags. And while some people bemoan the mature bits of a lot of kids shows and movies, I have a theory that adults need such things to avoid stir-crazy-with-the-children situations, and if they don't exist, they make them.

Many years ago, I remember a friend of mine with a small boy commenting that is was a good thing Steve (from Blue's Clues) was cute. As for myself, I have decided that Manny and Kelly (from Handy Manny on Playhouse Disney) are perfect for each other, and keep waiting for the episode where they get married. They are just so cute together! Yes, I know I'm talking about animated children's characters, but I don't think I'm the only one, cause I caught the end of an episode where they apparently went dancing together. Pretty exciting stuff for the toddler-watching set.

Not that I have any conclusions or pithy comments to make about all this, just an observation. And an exercise in writing in my blog. Practice, practice, practice, after all. Some day it'll be second nature again, and this time I won't delete it all and start over the first time I embarrass myself. *grins*

quick but heartfelt

2008-08-22T10:08:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recently got some bad news (which I read about on her blog, cause I'm wretched at keeping in touch), so I sent her an email to wish her well, and she said the nicest thing at the beginning, about how true friends know that they're still friends no matter how long it's been since they've been in touch. It made me feel better about all the people in my life that I only talk to sporadically. Luckily, they're all varying degrees of impossible to stay in touch with, so none of them take it personally. I have great friends. :)

be the best veggie you can be

2008-08-08T09:10:00.000-04:00

While it comes from VeggieTales, I strongly believe that everyone has a calling, something that they are supposed to be to be the best person they can and to help those around them. Unfortunately, very few people bother to listen to themselves (or know how) to figure out what that calling is, and get stuck on what they think will make them successful as an individual. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with success, it's just a question of what is defined as success, and what one does with it after one has it.

Not tht I am remotely successful by any of my personal definitions of success. I don't know if that means I need to change my life, or change my definitions of success. Or quite possibly both.

Completely off topic (though on the veggietales topic) I love Silly Songs with Larry. *laughs*wanders off to sing about pizza*

the once and future bard

2008-08-06T16:11:00.000-04:00

A storyteller should be overflowing, even if in silence. The imagination should sparkle, even in darkness. The need to believe in a different possibility, or understand the how and the why of the past and present as they are should overwhelm. One should always want to learn about the who.

What would it be like to grow up a half-breed and not even know it? Or to discover that your family lied to you your entire life? Would it be forgivable? Or at least understandable? Or would you go on a rampage against them all?

If you had to kill to protect someone you love, would you do it? And what would you do afterwards? Would you try and cover it up? Try and give it a good spin so no one was upset? Or would you just turn yourself in and accept the consequences?

Is there grace and redemption in honesty, or will you simply be subjected to pain and anger from those around you?

Why would the discovery of intelligent life besides humanity, of aliens from the stars, in any way diminish the possibility of God? Why, if God is in every way greater than humanity, couldn't the little green (or grey, or purple) men from Mars (or Alpha Centauri) also be reflections of Her? Wouldn't all life everywhere be a reflection of God? Isn't it?

Why is the fact that bad things happen to good people God's fault? If we accept all scientific evidence as true (cause and effect, etc.), and believe in free will (which is a tenant of pretty much all religion, the ability to choose to behave properly or not), how are the stupid things people do and their consequences God's fault? If we refuse to let her into our lives and do horrible things, horrible things happen to those around us. If we build cities on fault lines, and dump chemicals into the environment to mess up the climate, why is it God's fault that natural disasters happen?

If the Vikings found the New World first, and had systematically destabilized Southern European civilization to limit their expansion, what different world would we live in now? Would the Moors have spread out from Spain and led the world into a Muslem Renaissance instead of the slightly secular Humanist one? (Is that the right word? My brain just froze up.) Or would the New World have developed a Nordic Middle Ages while Europe was still fumbling amongst itself? Or would China have become expansionistic and taken over the world instead of keeping to itself?

I need to take a history class. And not a crappy one like I just helped the husband with a few months ago. Online schools are frequently lame, cause their books are not good enough to carry the class, and that's not enough interaction with anything outside the book to make it better.

almost 6 months, eek!

2008-03-28T10:22:00.000-04:00

So, I'm trying to get a bit more of a schedule so I write in this thing several times a week, but that involves actually being able to wake up in the morning, which hasn't happened in recent (or not so recent) memory. Besides, long hiatus-es (hiati?) followed by a couple boring articles is pretty par for the course for me, so I should stop worrying about it until things change and I miraculously get readers. *insert maniacal laughter here*

erm. yeah, kinda weird even for me, sorry.

I have a bunch I have to do in preparation for not going crazy and planning the goober's b-day party, so that's it, I'm boring, and I'm leaving.

TMI (please skip if no desire to read random BC/PMS thoughts)

2007-10-30T08:15:00.001-04:00

So, after the Goober was born, I had an IUD put in. (Largely cause I've had unprotected sex once in my life, and gotten pregnant twice. I apparently come from very fertile stock.) Ever since, I've had a rather chaotic lack of menstrual cycle, instead commonly being subjected to excessive spotting and weird timing. It's been very bad for our sex-life, since it's starting to feel like every other time one of us in the mood, I'm spotting again. Or just PMS-y and crabby, which tends to kill the mood without a lot of extra effort.

So, two to three weeks ago, I got crazy tender breasts and started craving red meat. We even went out to check out the new Houlihan's in town pretty much just so I could order a steak. I have never ordered a steak at a restaurant in my entire life, much less planned a trip so I could get one. (I've certainly eated them if someone was making them, but I've never made one or bought one myself.) I ordered a little tiny one with onions and mushrooms and a red wine butter sauce, but I still ate a steak. I even ordered it medium instead of the medium well/potential charcoal level to which I subject my gourmet burgers and such.

I used to be a vegetarian. I am completely limited to poultry, ham/bacon, and the occasional ground beef in sauces or tacos. (And even then I frequently use ground chicken or turkey instead.) And yet, steak. And roasted beef at Noodles, and a pot roast burger at Red Robin. (Does one notice that we're eating out excessively to meet this new red meat craving?)

So, since I'm craving red meat and have had sore breasts for two weeks with no sign of a period, I got a pregnancy test. And let me tell you, I felt really dumb buying the thing, since I know I've got an IUD. But I had no period, and extreme pregnancy symptoms, even including excessive fatigue. Which was causing me little nightmares about a kid whose leg or arm or even brain grew around the IUD in my uterus, and let me tell you, that is a not a nice mental image. In other words, I totally freaked myself out.

However, I got a negative test, and started spotting again last night. But I was behaving so strangely, even my husband was pretty glad I'd taken the pee-on-a-stick test last week, cause it made him feel better too. Not that we're against having another kid, but we're hoping he'll be a little further on track for his promotion first, and that I'll actually have met my doctor and found the hospital, just in case. Plus, the house could use a bit more unpacking and organizing, since I'm a slob. And there's the whole IUD-in-baby-brain nightmare too.

(And in the midst of all this random "we could be pregnant NOW?!? fiasco, I mentioned to the hubby about the expected "Elenor baby", and he commented that he was not changing the name we'd picked just cause of another frat-family-fiasco. We changed our planned wedding date cause a bunch of our fraternity friends were going to CA for a different wedding... which then got cancelled, which was rather annoying, so we're never changing anything for anyone's convenience again, apparently. *laughs*)

Toddler Observation - ish and weird sleep-deprived Mommy thoughts

2007-10-30T08:00:00.001-04:00

So my son isn't particularly a morning person, no surprise since his parents and Nana aren't remotely morning people either. We tended to just get up and curl up on the sofa and watch some PBS for half an hour to an hour while he drank his juice, I drank my coffee, and then we'd do the whole breakfast/getting ready to do something spiel.

However, this has switched itself to past tense, as you may have noticed, because the little goober insists on watching only Pooh's Heffalump Movie every single morning! (Except on Saturday, when he tends to sleep in cause he doesn't hear us get up, so I can distract him with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins, and/or Handy Manny.) This means, I actually have to pretend to be awake and do something useful, or else watch Roo capture Lump myself for the umpteenth time.

The goober frequently decides he's done about 20 minutes before the actual end of the movie, cause everyone's stopped running around by then, and I think he feels bad for Lumpy and Roo when they get sad and/or trapped. Still, that means I've had numerous chances to watch the beginning over and over and over...

The sad part is, I obviously don't pay any attention during this, cause I only noticed today that Kanga has a picture of Australia on her wall. *laughs* Which for some reason I've decided is the coolest thing ever, since that's where they have to have come from, after all. I mean, kangaroos and all don't normally live in the forest with bears and pigs and owls and rabbits and donkeys.

However, it makes me wonder what happened to Kanga back there in Australia, that she decided to move her son off to the 100-Acre Wood in England, of all places. (I am such a nerd. I never worried about how Tigger picked the English countryside, after all. But he's not a single parent. And you see him showing up as rather just a wanderer who bounces Pooh in the first movie anyways. Kanga and Roo showing up in the Piglet movie seems more like a Desperate Housewives new-neighbor intro now, and I am just dying to know the backstory! Have I mentioned I'm a big nerd? Who really needs to get out and about during the day a bit more, and sleep a bit more at night. No more video games!)

burble

2007-10-29T21:55:00.000-04:00

So, I have recently become addicted to a couple RPG games on what I used to able to refer to as "my husband's XBox", but is most assuredly now "our XBox". It's highly embarrassing, especially since I'm cheap, and find myself playing the same few repeatedly since I don't want to buy a crappity one with my limited funds. I used to be able to say that I'd never actually finished a video game. I was kinda proud of that. *sighs*laughs* And now, I find myself lusting after Mass Effect, but we don't have a 360 yet, and I really can't claim it's worth it just cause I want to try a new game! (Especially since this is a recently discovered addiction, so I can certainly go digging through old RPG's from previous game systems for new toys.)

My only problem is, I hate turn based combat. It's lame! (That's been my word-of-the-day lately, sorry for subjecting y'all to it.) However, it does interrupt the flow of the game, and I never really feel like my winning or losing actually has anything to do with my skill playing the game, but rather my skill in somehow psychically knowing which things to put my level points in.

Even if I sort-of have the same problem with real-time combat, (I needed to pick what spell/weapon/feat in order to beat this monster? *really loud expletive deleted*), I usually find it less annoying when at least my attempted dodging / blocking / attacking / casting is under my control. Cause, then when I die all the time, at least I know why. *laughs*

And completely unrelated to anything, I really want to see Beowulf. Cause I'm a Gaiman fan-girl, and a pretty/different movie visuals fan as well. Plus, I have actually read a couple translations of the original once upon a time, which makes me feel like a smart/informed/erudite movie-goer.

And that many hyphens and dashes must surely be a sign of mental exhaustion, and I need all my vocabulary acuity for NaNo after all, so I'm leaving again.

2007-10-13T23:18:00.000-04:00

Your home is a

Wizard's Headquarters

Your kitchen is manned by a team of Keebler Drow Elves. Your master bedroom is decorated to look like the treetop village of the Galadhrim. Your study has every fantasy novel ever written, including multiple editions of the Silmarillion and advance copies of Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. One of your garages contains a life-sized X-Wing fighter, and KITT. (KITT was a gift from a well-meaning uncle.)

Your home also includes a roost for griffons. You've never actually seen a griffon, but you keep the roost ready anyway. Your guests enjoy your home theater with hi-def plasma screen TV, and the thrones you watch it from. Outside is the moat that protects your home from goblin invaders and extended family.

And, you have a pet -- a unicorn named "Shadowhooves".

Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Build YOUR Dream House!

Just to preface this, I am not pregnant, and there is no particular reason this popped into my head.

2007-08-31T23:32:00.000-04:00

Everyone keeps stealing my baby names. When I was young, Michaela was one of my favorite girls names, and I had it in the back of my head that I would name my daughter that if I ever had one. (Even though I was sure I'd never have children. Girls are weird like that.) However, my brother had to go and name his lovely daughter Mikayla, and I decided two in the same family was a bit much, especially after suffering the *insert some clever word meaning WAY THE HECK TOO MANY that I just forgot mid-sentence... plethora perhaps?* of Dave's that were already around. And then I had to go and marry another one... *laughs*

Any then, I find out a member of my extended school family (ie an alum of my fraternity) is expecting a girl to be named Elenor. (From Tolkien, apparently. Such nerds. *laughs*) And if my current baby boy had been a girl, we were going to name her Eleanor. *le sigh* I am apparently much less original than I thought. Then again, I think I already knew that.

more than meets the eye

2007-07-01T14:59:00.000-04:00

So, there was an advanced preview of the new Transformers movie on post last night, so the husband and I had a little date night and saw it. And learned that free previews on post are not worth it, since it's an old, cramped, a/c-free theatre and people use it as family night so there are lots of children running around, and the projector broke down twice, and they had to bring in extra chairs since they overprint the free ticket passes. (And wow, there were some spectacularly rude people there. eek.)

Despite that, the movie is wonderful, and enjoys itself immensely, and got the same voice actor for Optimus Prime as the original old cartoon, which adds to the awesome. (It must have been odd for the kids who haven't seen the old cartoon when all the adults cheered at the new robot landing to earth and turning into a semi-truck. *laughs*) It had a few odd plot-holes, but is well enough done that neither of us noticed until we were talking about the movie on the way home. So, highly recommended, especially if you enjoy old cartoons, cause despite being a BEAUTIFUL live-action robot movie, it captures the feel of a good saturday-morning cartoon. (Instead of the new rude obnoxious ones on nowadays.)

Toddler story of the day:
The baby boy's favorite movie is Over the Hedge, which he likes because of Vern, the turtle. He loves turtles. When he woke up this morning, I walked into his room, he said "Hi Mama", and then started chanting "turkle".

bitchmoanwhinecry*

2007-06-28T21:00:00.000-04:00

So, I'm watching my niece and nephew this afternoon, and in a break between rain showers we went to the park. And they all have fun, but I manage to bonk my ankle seriously out of whack. And my two year old apparently saw me trip on nothing and fall all over the place, cause he refused to walk across the playground equipment by himself anymore, and had to hold my hand. Which means that after twisting my ankle I had to walk around. And then walk home. (At least the walk home is downhill. *sighs*) So now my foot and ankle are all messed up, and I'm limping up and down the hallway and back and forth to the kitchen. And of course all the kids who were actually running and jumping are fine, unlike the mom who simply attempted walking.

Funny toddler story of the day:
So the goober and I were digging through the study for some missing paperwork, and I turn to hear him saying "wocka wocka". Apparently he wanted to play with the figures in the Muppet Show Chess Set! (He has since done the same thing when he tried to convince me to put in The Muppets take Manhattan for him to watch this afternoon.) Isn't that adorable? I love toddler-speak. He also calls the vacuum cleaner kaboom. I'm sure he's just switching the consonants, cause he does that with a lot of words, but a kaboom seems so fitting. *laughs*

Have I mentioned I'm a rabid Joss Whedon fan? Which introduced me to Nathan Fillion, and then Tim Minear and Jane Espenson?

2007-06-15T12:27:00.000-04:00

Hi, I'm writing to ask all of you lovely people a favor. And I'm a big dork, cause it's about a TV show. *embarrassed smile* I have become enthralled by a TV show called Drive that Fox only aired for 8 days. I don't know what they expected in 8 days, but they didn't get it, and have apparently cancelled the show. They will be airing the final 2 episodes on July 4th (yeah, the day NO ONE is home and watching TV) and if there's enough interest in the show either in ratings or episode sales, there's a chance it might be picked up by another network. (Say, FX or TNT?) So, in the interest of finding out what happens next, and continuing to see Nathon Fillion (my new favorite actor and the lead on the show) on a regular basis... please take a look! (It's very good, about an illegal cross-country road race with a huge $32-million prize... and strange unknown motives, and people being forced to participate against their will, and others forcing their way in when they haven't been invited, and I know that it sounds kinda odd, but trust me, it's great.)

The first four episodes are available online, and Direct2Drive will even let you pre-order the last 2. If anyone is interested but can't really afford the $8 - 12 to buy them, let me know and I'll see if I can swing a few gifts. You'll need to look under TV Shows, Fox, Drive. (If you're searching by genre, I've seen it under both Drama and Action.) I've got a few links below, but if you know of somewhere else you like to get your videos, feel free. (Just please, consider buying it, not just sharing, so Fox will see the numbers rise.) And if you like, please pass on this request to everyone you know.

iTunes:
http://www.apple.com/itunes/store/tvshows.html

Amazon UnBox
http://amazon.com/gp/product/B000PH2DTE/ref=amb_link_3302862_7/002-8605554-1072042?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=left-1&pf_rd_r=1B0PY2PNDEF18YR1PJ3G&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=289952401&pf_rd_i=169158011

Direct2Drive
http://www.direct2drive.com/Search.aspx?SearchTerm=drive

thanks!

Of course, as I'm not at all a cannibal, I'm not sure how I got 20% Reaver, or 50% Alliance, but these things can be a little off.

2007-06-08T18:04:00.000-04:00

Your results:
You are Wash (Ship Pilot)

Wash (Ship Pilot)		70%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		65%
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		55%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		50%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)		50%
Alliance		50%
River (Stowaway)		30%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		25%
Inara Serra (Companion)		20%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		20%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		0%

You are a pilot with a good
if not silly sense of humor.
You take pride in your collection of toys.
You love your significant other.

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character am I?" quiz...

wow, I had a visitor!

2007-06-08T16:17:00.001-04:00

So, as the little icon at the side might have clued you in on, I'm attempting to write a script this month. It has zombies, and Nathan Fillion, so one can tell I liked Slither, neh? And it's a totally gross horror movie, which I normally don't like, but Dave suggested I watch it, and I got quite a kick out of it. Not that I'm nearly as funny as the movies I'm inspired by. (The description I put on the scriptfrenzy site says Slither meets Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I'm so not that good.)

Anyways, for some unknown reason I actually listed this poor neglected blog on my author profile, and someone actually came and read it! Which shamed me into writing an update. *laughs* The fact that I've neglected this thing for so long that no one comes to read it doesn't phase me, but some stranger wants to say hi, and I freak out and must write.

I'm also procrastinating, cause I can't think of any other good ways to slow down the murder of zombies. (I like that description. It's cause a flock of crows is actually called a murder... maybe it should be a massacre of zombies? ooh, that's even better.) Anyways, my murderous hordes of zombies are magic powered, instead of science gone horrible wrong, so shooting them in the head doesn't do anything. Even if you chop them into bits, the bits keep coming, so... how should my heroes slow them down to run away? And what's an accidental way they could figure out that fire does kill them, so they can plan the giant inferno that I'm hoping to script for my climax? If it helps, they're slow zombies, cause really, fast and having all the bits speed after you would just be too much.

um. yeah. Should probably get back to work now. *sighs* I am totally brain dead. It's sad.

two-timer

2007-05-29T06:00:00.000-04:00

Or would that be double-timing?

Anyways, I have two script ideas for SF (see participant icon to your left) and rather than choose, I'm going to try and write them both! Yeah me! See you in July...

the unexpected perils of Army Life

2007-05-23T03:22:00.000-04:00

Soldiers are worse than college students. By that I mean they tend to reach the edge of the road and keep walking without even pausing to look for traffic. With the added bonus of wearing ACU's, driving on post tends to make me worry I'm going to hit someone. Especially since Washington is fond of fog and rain. (For those non-Army types, ACU's are the new fatigues.)
I think most soldiers think they're invincible, cause if something was going to happen to them, it'd happen when they deployed, right? So, if you ever visit an Army base, drive carefully.

gah

2007-05-23T02:15:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I'm a ginormous bum. I say this periodically, and usually I erase all my old depressing entries and start over cause I'm too embarrassed to leave them here. I wish now I'd kept them all, if only so my poor blog wouldn't look so darn empty. *le sigh*

trying again, take one billion and three...

2007-04-02T04:08:00.000-04:00

Friday Five

2007-02-09T13:50:00.000-05:00

1. If you were a crayon, which color would you want to be?
emerald green
2. Which color do you think you would be regardless of what you wanted?
blue-grey
3. Would you rather be used and get blunt, broken and lose your wrapper, or not be used and stay pristine?
Why would anyone want to stay pristine? (I'd have to say I probably am, and it's pretty damn boring. Much rather be enjoyed for your life, neh?)
4. Would you rather be in a small set of crayons or a large set?
Large set that has long since lost its box and lives in a plastic bag. :)
5. Would you rather be Crayola, or a different brand?
Does it really matter once you've lost the box? ^_~ (I'm embarrassed to admit Crayola. I'm usually all into generics, but something about that particular brand... I'm all nostalgic I guess.)

day 2 (aka starting my New Year's Resolution only a month and a half late...)

2007-02-09T13:17:00.000-05:00

Strangely enough, having extra children in the house appears to make me much more efficient. I ignore them to all play together, just keeping an ear out for any potential fatalities, and I actually then do housework or random chores. (Or veg on the puter, as witnessed by this post.) So, I need to work up the nerve to call my sister-in-law and see if she'll let me watch her children. The brother-in-law is all happy for it, since I'd be cheaper than their current daycare (by lots) but they're separated, and she's barely met me, so apparently she was unenthused when he brought it up. I just have no idea what to say, and I'm a chicken when it comes to potentially unpleasant phone calls, so I haven't done it yet. I'm just a chicken presenting myself to people I don't know well in general, even if it's going to be a nice phone call.

I am very jealous of the children who got no sleep and are still happy and bouncy, while I'm dragging cause they kept waking me up all night. And my new anti-virus stuff is ready to be installed, so I better go and finish this later.

wow, my typing fingers aren't actually broken! who knew?

2007-02-06T19:53:00.000-05:00

Um. So much going on, and yet not really much at all. I'm going to try and get in the habit of posting regularly, and if I manage that I will then send this address to all the familial types so they don't yell at us for neglecting them quite as much anymore. I'm really good at keeping in touch with my mom, but everyone else I suck at. I think it's cause she's the only I can call whenever I think of it and I know if she's asleep she'll just ignore me. *grins* Plus there's the whole I just suck at staying in touch anyways factor. Anyways. Updates...

Husband News:

DAH (aka da-husband) has enrolled in school, and is taking his first 2 classes. He's working towards a bachelor's in Criminal Justice, since that's pretty much his second choice if flying doesn't work out. In terms of the flying, he had eye surgery mid-January, which seems to have gone well, but it can take about 6 months for the eyes to finish healing, so we won't know for sure if they'll be good enough to be accepted into the aviation program for awhile yet.

Which works out pretty well, timewise, actually. DAH wanted to complete his first deployment before he applied for Warrant Officer and/or Officer Candidate school, which is probably going to be this fall. So, he'll let his eyes heal, he'll get deployed, he'll apply for aviation school, and if that doesn't work out he'll apply for general officer, and he should be able to come home after deployment, take some leave, and then go be trained in whichever program worked out for him.
Good news on the husband front is that he won the Soldier of the Year board for his battalion. Yeah! Many congratulations abound, though he doesn't get as much from it as a PFC as he would if he was a Sgt. Totally unfair that. Especially since everyone's just waiting around until they can get him upped to Specialist. Though, there's a line on something that might help the career advancement, but I don't want to jinx it so I'll be mysterious for a bit longer. *evil grin*

So, good wishes on the boards would always be appreciated, but don't talk to him about school. His books were delayed, and then he couldn't read cause of the surgery, and he hates his intro business mgmt class, so he thinks he's doing horribly and he's only got two weeks until he's supposed to have finished the classes. (Nevermind that with delayed shipments and eye surgery he could apply for an extension. Instead he insists on finishing it all on time and is thus stressed out. I think it distracts him from stressing about the Boards, so I suppose I should stop bugging him about it, neh? Though that's done now, so I could start again... j/k)

Son Update

I had bunches of silly stories, but I can only think of a couple. Which is probably good, cause excessive mother gushing is only entertaining to the mother. Generally speaking, the Goober is doing very well. Though he seems to think he should be allowed to eat Goldfish all day and is finally entering cold season several months late, so we're a little cranky sometimes. ;)

He doesn't talk a lot, probably cause he spends most of his time with just me, so he has no real incentive to develop some extra vocabulary. I'm hoping to get him some more other kid time, but that will mean more sick time too, Murphy's Law being what it is, so I'm kinda putzing about.

He likes to dance, and he also now likes to dance with remotes and wave them at the TV since we spent the day at his Uncle's house. His Uncle has a Wii, and the baby quite enjoyed it whenever anyone played WiiSports. His favorite appeared to be boxing, probably cause his cousin goes really overboard when trying to win his fights, dancing about and talking trash. He works so hard at it he has to pause and sit down and pant periodically mid-match. It's quite entertaining, even if you're not 2. Since he IS that young, it's extra special entertaining, I guess.

The other day we went out for breakfast, and the goober totally refused to eat any of his pancakes that were touched by the strawberries and whipped cream. (Here I'd gotten him a treat since he'd liked it last time I had strawberry waffles.) Instead, he happily ate pieces of raw onion that his father took off his sandwich. And then last week, he refused to eat his sloppy joe in favor of extra helpings of corn. Some day I'll figure out what he's going to eat, but so far it changes pretty often.

Erm. I know I had a bunch more, but I just had a total brain freeze, so I'm going to stop while I'm sorta ahead.

apologies

2006-11-16T15:27:00.000-05:00

Why do I never update? Because I am a total moron. (It's better to be more-on than more-off! Sorry, bad husband joke. He insists he's a smartass, not a dumbass, if that ever comes up as well.) Someday, I will kind-of have a schedule, and I will come back. That will probably be in January, what with being 10,000 words behind in Nano and then all that holiday crap, and being president of the FRG. How the heck did that happen? Anyways, off to waste time on the sluggy forum boards instead! *evil grin*so embarrassed*

I LOVE MUPPETS!

2006-11-05T17:30:00.000-05:00

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.
You're always willing to lend a helping hand.
In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going.
"15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

And then I made the husband take it too...

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

just for fun...

2006-11-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

1. YOUR SPY NAME: (middle name and current street name)
Louise Dahlia, PI for Hire!

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:
(grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Sigga Caramel

3. YOUR RAP NAME
(first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
A-Hum

4. YOUR GAMER TAG: (a favorite color, a favorite animal)
Purple Puffin

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Louise Madison

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME(first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Humson Sam

7. JEDI NAME:
(middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Esiuol Nosrekluf

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet's name, the street you grew up on)
Budgie Paloma

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your dad drives)
The Green Lincoln

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME:
(first name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate)
Dana Whoppers (that should be my porn name! *hee hee*)

Hello again

2006-11-05T16:53:00.000-05:00

So, I actually have a few Hallowe'en pictures, but now I'm having computer issues, so I am currently using the husband's laptop. Someday I'll be organized, I hope, but it seems increasingly unlikely.

Though, I have joined a volunteer organization on post. I have even somehow become co-president of said organization, so apparently I'm organized enough to help the army! My co-president is a very cool lady, who has even volunteered to watch my kid along with hers when I have doctor appointments or some such on post. :)

This past week the husband was helping his brother move, and I spent a while watching the brother's kids, so today we're being lazy while the baby sleeps. (He's been very excited and active the past few days, so he seems to be very tired... it's been a pretty long nap already, and he's not even twitching. And tonight he gets even more play time, since we've got a game night planned...

Um. I'm really boring. I don't have anything to report. Too spaced in the head. bbl

wandering through words

status update

SSDD

exhaustion on day 2 is not a good sign

Happy November

Watching The Colbert Report

posting when sleep deprived does not promise coherence

quick review of goals: writing, reviewing, gaming...

stream of consciousness... sorry

preferences

Gimme stuff?

must do this every day... is good for the brain... eventually... o_0;;

My son = Ben Bailey

Warning: Rabid Fan Girl

Fantasy for the win

oops

Happy New Year!

WIP update

be careful what you wish for...

No Baby News

Writer's Block is not fun. I like to state the obvious sometimes.

Seasons Greetings, etc.

random lust

Broken Wing by Judith James

Proof we, as parents, (mostly me but sometimes the husband), are not good enough at hiding our video games from the young child

more gaming obsessions aka I am such a girl sometimes.

I am such a nerd. RPG FTW!

The First Snowfall of the Season. I love winter.

WIP update

My Week in Gaming

A new favorite author... how exciting.

on bits of string and ceiling wax?

untitled brief note

news

Week-In-Review

retro re-read: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia Wrede

"Welcome to the Jungle"

Week In Review

Thank goodness the dog is not adventurous

The Landscapes of Ephemera

oops

The Warlord's Mistress by Juliet Landon

apparently I am not interested in Emma and Finn today ...

Emma continues in a more normal tense ...

present tense?!?

no great surprise ...

Happy New Year!

I'm a dink. Or possibly secretly old-school blonde?

pre-review thoughts, and head purging

Yes, I read romance, and like it. Give it a try. ^_~

to schedule?

I can pretend to be social, I guess ...

freewrite exercises TBA

a secret romantic

take !#(@$*-ing three (or four, I've lost track)

*grr*argh*

*blinks*

*be warned, the following is excessively tangential and melodramatic, even for me*

Death to the Edit-Man!

eek! aka five days later ...

I Hate My Library

Big Wheel

I used to want to learn japanese so I could turn off the subtitles...

I need to work on my endings.

oops (note to self: don't put something in the title that I haven't actually managed to do yet)

working on another double post day!

apologies in advance for fractured sentences

and now it's today ...

pretend this entry is dated yesterday, please

on writing, sort-of

Ok, the list at the bottom needs a little work, but at least I'm trying.

i am so disorganized

right before the buzzer

on writing

adult sanity in the face of toddler-hood

quick but heartfelt

be the best veggie you can be

the once and future bard

almost 6 months, eek!

TMI (please skip if no desire to read random BC/PMS thoughts)

grrargh*

blinks

be warned, the following is excessively tangential and melodramatic, even for me

bitchmoanwhinecry*